DirtRider . Net MX, SX, Arena Cross, Off-Road Community

This is the text version of DirtRider.Net
Click Here for the Full Version

Pages: 1

Tp
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)

Posted by: Treejumper---------------------

Speaking of polls. Here's one for you.

Does the toliet paper go on the holder with the paper unrolling from the top or bottom.

Posted by: Detonator---------------------

It must unroll from the top. Bottom rolling places the paper dangerously close to potential contact with the wall surface, and such paper should be discarded immediately. As well, the spring assembly inside the roll-holder should be given a light, even coat of WD-40 every 16 rolls of 2-ply or every 8 rolls of 4-ply (6 if it's a Yamaha). Additionally, the surface of the roll-holder should be inspected for burrs, surface scratches, or heat-warpage. Teflon tape should be used on the outer contact surface for "spinners" or if your household contains more than 2 females. If the roll-holder develops a chattering sound whilst under spin, DO NOT continue using the holder. Check the end surfaces for slop, and shim with aircraft grade washers. Failure to do so could result in premature rippage of paper, leaving the user with an inadequate amount of tissue and exposing the digits to certain peril.

Posted by: Farmer John---------------------

When your settin on the bowl
and you run out of roll
be a man
use your hand

Posted by: Okiewan---------------------

lol Detonator.

I go around the house correcting improperly mounted rolls.
One of the bad things in life is trying to grab some paper laying flush against the wall and the sound/feeling of fingernails on drywall, yes, even painted drywall.

Posted by: KelvinKDX---------------------

well - since i mostly live out of hotels during the week i have to say that i do not think that i have ever seen the rolls any other way than laying over the top towards the "user"

Posted by: YZ165---------------------

Detonator, I like your style!

Posted by: Treejumper---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by KelvinKDX

well - since i mostly live out of hotels during the week i have to say that i do not think that i have ever seen the rolls any other way than laying over the top towards the "user"

Everyone around here doesnt do it that way and it drives me nuts. I'm like Okie and will turn it around the proper way. Then it pisses off my buddies.

Posted by: Tony Eeds---------------------

Over the top, BUT ...

Have you ever seen the pile of AP on the floor after a bored three year old learns that he can slap the face of the roll and watch it pile up on the floor?

During that fateful period of my children's lives we reversed the roll in order to assure ourselves that the kids survived early childhood.

I like Detonator's style as well!

I can't believe that no one has

ed this thread.

Posted by: jboomer---------------------

Here I sit
all broken hearted,
came to shiite
but only farted.

Gotta love porta john poets!

Posted by: MrMXer327---------------------

Right on Tony - Those with kids KNOW you never go over the top.

Posted by: WaltCMoto---------------------

Man o man Detonator, I thought I was anal.

Posted by: Detonator---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by WaltCMoto

Man o man Detonator, I thought I was anal.

Walt, we're all anal beings; it's not something to be ashamed of, but rather uplifted and celebrated.

I think the measure of a true man lies in the details of his anality, like how one prepares garbage for the curb, the presentation of said trash on the curbside, the colour/density of bag selection, the impressiveness and size of the trash container, etc.

TP just happens to be a subject of great importance in my life, as my wife (who will never see this post, so I write in great confidence, brethren) is a "power-user" of disposable paper products, and has trained my womanchild of 5 years to do likewise. We buy more TP per week than a gang of highschool hooligans on Hallowe'en night. Check out the alliteration in that sentence. You'd swear I was Texan.

When we moved into our current abode, there was a wooden roll-holder already installed. Wooden! This was simply a recipe for 12,000 rpm slivers or friction-based ignition and combustion; headlines flashed through my mind (Woman Treated For Hygienic-Paper Combusion: Lazy Husband Brought in for Questioning--related article page 2: Lazy Husband Does Not Use Safety-Wire on Flimsy Wal-Mart Garbage Bags).

I've seen guys use a torque wrench to tighten sidepanel bolts. Are we really any worse in our quest for the perfect TP spin? Walt, get in touch with your anal side...you know you want to. Your honour, the Defense rests.

Posted by: Green Horn---------------------

I like it rolling off the top. My wife always puts it backwards and I'm constantly reminding her.

Posted by: ktmboy---------------------

Who needs holders? You just slide the roll over your thumb, give a quick tug with the other hand, then pinch the spinning roll between thumb and forefinger when you've got enough paper. ( kinda like disc brakes! ) Of course, this method doesn't work well if you have 'girlie hands'.

Posted by: Shig---------------------

I am Cornholio...you will bring me TP!

Posted by: Kawidude---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tony Eeds

Over the top, BUT ...

Have you ever seen the pile of AP on the floor after a bored three year old learns that he can slap the face of the roll and watch it pile up on the floor?

Oh man! I got hit with this scenario last Saturday. My 3 year old managed to sneak into our bathroom, unravel an ENTIRE roll of Quilted Northern and then attempted to flush the whole thing down. By the time we realized he had done it, there was already over an inch of water on the bathroom floor. So I'm trying to keep my TP off the holder and hidden at least 4 feet above ground so the munchkin (no, not RC) can't get to it.

Posted by: Gary B.---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tony Eeds

Over the top, BUT ...

Have you ever seen the pile of AP on the floor after a bored three year old learns that he can slap the face of the roll and watch it pile up on the floor?

During that fateful period of my children's lives we reversed the roll in order to assure ourselves that the kids survived early childhood.

I like Detonator's style as well!

I can't believe that no one has

ed this thread.

Kids and kittens both learn that trick early in life.

Posted by: MudMan125---------------------

Mmmm... kittens. Uhh I didn't mean that the way it sounded, honest

Posted by: Chief---------------------

Posted by: gwcrim---------------------

"Get in touch with your anal side." LOL.... I know I have. Someone is always calling me an < NOPE >.

George III is 19 months old. Our toilet paper is pre-unrolled for us and left all over the floor as a convenience.

Posted by: YZ165---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detonator

TP just happens to be a subject of great importance in my life, as my wife (who will never see this post, so I write in great confidence, brethren) is a "power-user" of disposable paper products, and has trained my womanchild of 5 years to do likewise. We buy more TP per week than a gang of highschool hooligans on Hallowe'en night.

That was funny. Except for the fact that I have a 13 year old, 5 year old, and a 2 year old, all girls, plus the wife. I'm screwed.

Posted by: Detonator---------------------

Ooh...you're definitely in trouble there. I'll bet your toilet lid has never been lifted...the hinges are probably seized shut by now.
My father-in-law, who raised a gang of girls, is psychologically driven to sit down while having a tinkle. One day, I'd had enough. I ushered him into my bathroom, lifted the lid, and gave him a pep-talk about reclaiming his manhood. I noticed the last time I was over to visit that his lid was left in the UP position, and he walks a little prouder. I feel I've done some good for humankind.

Posted by: squeaky---------------------

You guys are all crazy!!!!! Does it matter how the TP goes on the holder? Nope, as long as there's TP for the usin!

Posted by: Kawidude---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detonator

Ooh...you're definitely in trouble there. I'll bet your toilet lid has never been lifted...the hinges are probably seized shut by now.
My father-in-law, who raised a gang of girls, is psychologically driven to sit down while having a tinkle. One day, I'd had enough. I ushered him into my bathroom, lifted the lid, and gave him a pep-talk about reclaiming his manhood. I noticed the last time I was over to visit that his lid was left in the UP position, and he walks a little prouder. I feel I've done some good for humankind.

A few months after my son was born my wife told me she wanted to teach him to pee sitting down because it's "cleaner." I told her if she taught him to pee sitting down, I'd teach him to poop standing up. I won that little argument pretty quickly.

Posted by: Tony Eeds---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kawidude

I'd teach him to poop standing up.

Whoa ... Talk about marking your territory

My ex-wife wanted me to leave the seat down when I was done. It caused a number of arguments.
I decided to put the seat and the lid down.
She got mad at that as well.

issed:

Go figure, I guess it was all about her convenience ...
I'm sure she has trained her "new" husband ...

Posted by: YZ165---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detonator

I'll bet your toilet lid has never been lifted...the hinges are probably seized shut by now.

I'll keep a can of WD-40 real close!.

Posted by: Chief---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tony Eeds

I decided to put the seat and the lid down.

I'm with Tony on this one. It works out well in my situation.

I'm lucky enough to have one boy and one girl, makes the numbers even, so I guess this gives me a fighting chance???

"Equal Rights!!!! until it comes to Special Treatment?"

Every now and then I like to put up a stink about ''WHO LEFT THE SEAT DOWN!!!'' just to keep things in perspective. It doesn't seem they take me seriously though, just mildly amused or annoyed, not sure which.

Maybe my son has the right idea. Despite all the hardships due to this, he still just pees with the seat down whenever he thinks he won't be caught.

Posted by: DWreck---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMXer327

Right on Tony - Those with kids KNOW you never go over the top.

And cats! I've also had to learn to close the lid on the toilet seat to keep him out. Other wise I end up with a wet cat dragging TP through the house.

Posted by: Dirtbike'n man---------------------

< NOPE >

Posted by: kuritaro9---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kawidude

" I told her if she taught him to pee sitting down, I'd teach him to poop standing up. I won that little argument pretty quickly.

i like you teaching style.here in japan,i have a different take on things.see here,there are things called squatty potties.basically a hole in the floor with running water.no seat to leave up... and even the ladies gotta pee standing up.talk about taking back the power and walking tall.as for the sh*t ticket question,im on a 3 dump a day habit,so i use it from where it sits.on the role,shelf or floor.it all ends up in the same place...whoops gotta go.im playing peakaboo with myself...

Posted by: zio---------------------

Any new parent, as in the last 5 years or so, will tell you that flushable wipes are the way to go. Your kids don't complain of itch butt, and neither do you. And, skidmarks are eliminated. It takes some getting used to, what with a plastic box on the back of the pot instead of a roll right next to you, but it's worth it. And they're more expensive, for sure... but again, the benefits far outweight the added cost & inconvenience.

Posted by: zio---------------------

Also, it's much easier on your little brown buddy. No more bashing the heck out of it to get every last bit of doo doo. The wipes are soft & gentle- a big plus for hemorrhoids or anal fissures.

Posted by: oldguy---------------------

Since we got the Aussie terror we can not use the holder. She has declared war on any TP rolls she can reach

Text Version Home

This is the text version of DirtRider.Net Click Here for the Full Version

Tp

This is the text version of DirtRider.Net
Click Here for the Full Version