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Originally Posted by High Lord Gomer
Ivan's been hitting the Jenkem!
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Originally Posted by High Lord Gomer
Ivan's been hitting the Jenkem!
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Ivan finished brushing his teeth, then slapped a little Stetson on his boyishly handsome face. He took one last long look in the mirror to check his appearance. His recent weightloss made him look strong and lean. Damn, I look GOOD!, thought Ivan, as he adjusted the collar on his Tommy Hilfiger buttondown and turned to head out the door. Ivan had a date tonight. His good friend Mike had set him up with the girl, someone who knew Mike's cousin or his cousin's coworker...he already forgot how they knew each other. Ivan only knew that he trusted Mike's judgement when it came to women. The South Carolina summer air was still moist with humidity, as it would be for most of the year. Ivan had a twenty minute drive over to The Lizard's Thicket, the down-home coffee shop where he and Melanie, his date, had agreed to meet. Their phone conversation the night before was brief and light. Melanie was also going through a separation. To Ivan, she seemed like a lot of fun, but this dating business was sometimes a little intimidating. He hoped the evening would go well. As he pulled into the parking lot of The Lizard's Thicket, Ivan noticed an incredibly beautiful blonde stepping out of a silver Chrysler 300 and head toward the coffee shop. Ivan hoped the beautiful blonde was Melanie. At 6:30 PM sharp, Ivan exited his vehicle and headed into the eatery. As he entered, the beautiful blonde he'd spied in the parking lot was emerging from the ladies room. Ivan could not help but notice what an incredibly large rack the woman had...so ample and full and jiggly. For the life of him, Ivan could not tear his eyes away from the weighty globes. The woman watched Ivan with interest. "Hi, I'm Melanie...are you Ivan?" Yesssss! There is a God...thought Ivan. "Yeah, I'm Ivan. Mike didn't tell me you had such large...uh...blue eyes!" He extened his hand for an awkward shake. He really just wanted to fondle those titties. The Lizard's Thicket hostess seated them in a cozy booth and the two made polite conversation over plates of fried catfish and collard greens. Melanie wanted banana cream pie for dessert. Ivan had difficulty keeping eye contact with Melanie throughout the course of their meal...what had she been blabbering on about? Stem cell reseach? Humanitarian efforts in Guatemala? The futures market for soybeans? Hell, he didn't care...he just wanted to watch those boobs rise and fall every time she breathed. Ivan couldn't help notice that a large dollop of whipped cream from Melanie's pie had fallen softly and descreetly onto the swell of her left breast. Later...at the Spartanburg, SC police department. Officer Stanley: You guys gotta hear this one! We just arrested this guy down at the Lizard's Thicket for licking whipped cream off this woman's breasts!!! It was almost like the guy was on PCP, we could NOT pull him off her!!! The guy was out of his mind!! Officer Martin: Yeah, for real! After we handcuff him and get him in the back of the unit, he just keeps muttering "bewbies, bewbies, bewbies....." |
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Originally Posted by truespode
Natty has some talent... here is a cool story she wrote
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