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To the highschoolers who congested, and trashed my school:

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Posted by: justalonewolf007---------------------

(Mods, if you wish, place this in the Flame Forum)

To the highschoolers who congested, and trashed my school:

I know you’re all very stressed over the various competitions that are scattered around my school, and that you might be nervous and unsure of how to act on an actual college campus. Please allow me to clarify a few things for your conveniences, since you seemed to be totally unaware of some general courtesies.

1 – Do not spit on the hallway floors, walls, windows, pop machines, railings, and most importantly do NOT spit at small female college students as they pass.

Certain short female have connections with the linebackers, and quarterbacks of the college football team. They are far bigger, and can run much faster than you. Said linebackers and quarterbacks will kindly rub your faces in the spit which you have deposited all over my school, use your overly expensive name brand hoodie to wipe up said spit, and then deposit you into a trash can for your convenience.

2 – Do not deposit your trash on the floors, walls, windows, railings, chairs, tables, or desks of this school, and most importantly do NOT throw it at small female college students as they pass.

In case you may not have noticed, there are garbage cans and recycling bins placed within 7 feet of your location. Please use them next time instead of leaving your candy wrappers, used gum, pop bottles, and torn up love notes on the floor. As previously mentioned, said small female college students have connections with the linebackers and quarterbacks of the college football team. They would be entirely glad to demonstrate the proper use of a garbage can, by placing you inside for your convenience. Using said bins and garbage cans will not endanger your health in the least. You were in fact lucky that you had missed the small female college student when you threw three pop bottles at her. Had she not been recovering from surgery, she would have rendered you unconscious. Twice!

3 – Do not stop without warning for an 8 person conference in the middle of the hallway. Hallways are for getting from one place to another.

If you may not have noticed, there are people just behind you trying to utilize the hallway. Also not be miffed if someone bumps into you because your girlfriend sent you a text message, and you couldn’t bear to take two steps to the side before coming to a complete halt to reply. If someone says “excuse me please” it would be a very useful thing for you to inconvenience yourself enough to take at least a single step in order to let them pass. Please move to the side if you need to stop and talk or text.

It is also inadvisable to run back and forth without reason. Some small female college students have been known to stick out a foot or two, especially having experienced multiple collisions with you before due to you running forwards and looking backwards (also a bad idea in and of itself).

4 – Do not destruct the school property.

The signs, desks, chairs, room numbers, pop machines, and posters are not yours. They are also very expensive. Please note the fact that there are no names or initials or slandering messages on our bathroom walls. Should you feel the need to write on the bathroom wall, wait until you are back at your own school. We could care less who you your lifelong crush is, and we also know that within 6 days, you will have a different one and won’t remember the one you originally put in graffiti on the stall door. Putting mustaches and/or horns on individuals on posters isn’t a funny idea either, we have much better ways of having fun in college.

Additionally, please note that no matter how many cracks you put in the front of the pop machine it will not give you free pop. Kicking, and punching the machine is also just as ineffective. Putting strips of notebook paper in the dollar and coin slots will only cause it to jam. This will cause you to lose your money when you finally decide that it is worth putting in the precious $1.25 that your parents probably gave you.

Don’t pull the plastic signs off the walls. Having the “Owen 205” sign does not make a great prize, and carrying it around like a trophy only caused your buddy to be fined $100, and escorted off of school property (without his prize).


5 – Stairways, like halls, are for getting places. Do not block them by sitting across the steps, and ALWAYS move the first time when a small female college student asks you to kindly.

I’m sure I don’t have to repeat what happened when you stupidly turned and asked her “why?” then turned and ignored her.

Certainly, I didn’t mean to leave a foot print on your brand new white expensive name-brand sweatshirt and hat. It must have been too tiring to stand up, or at least move your person six inches in either direction. In fact, one of your three buddies could have moved as well, I wouldn’t have been too picky. However, it was your choice to turn back around and tell me pleasantly to “like whatever f--- off b----!” and not move.

Kicking you such as I did, and as hard as I did, was against my doctor’s orders. It also hurt like hell. However, I cannot describe the satisfaction it gave me, to see you tip over and fall across your friend’s (or is it homeboy’s?) lap, then roll down the remaining two steps. It was most satisfying indeed.

- The small female college student


Posted by: whenfoxforks-ruled---------------------

Are you in reform school? Are there any odors? Is it hard to open the front door, like a pressure difference? Could be methane gas from the sewers. Irrational behaviors, headaches.


Posted by: IndyMX---------------------

Ha!


Posted by: justalonewolf007---------------------

Quote:
Originally Posted by whenfoxforks-ruled
Are there any odors? Is it hard to open the front door, like a pressure difference? Could be methane gas from the sewers. Irrational behaviors, headaches.


Gasp! You may be on to something!


Posted by: ebony dream---------------------

lolol indeed inspector ...damn



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