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I didn't see you.
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Posted by: Patman---------------------

No doubt I've had my share of encounters with idiots that shouldn't have a license but today was just crazy! I'm driving my normal route which at one point is through a suburban area so the 5 lane highway (2 each way and a center LTL) is just a straight smooth roll along at 40-50mph drive. No big deal except it happens to be and area of upwardly mobile types that all are in a hurry and are more important than the next guy so it get's more than an average number of accidents. I know this and am always on my guard which paid off today because some twit in an Infinity with Cali plates (this is in Texas) is rolling along to my right and decides because there is a dump truck in front of him and it's slowing on the slight incline he should invate my personal space just so that he doesn't have to slow. I'm not talking about a tight squeeze, I had to swerve in to the LTL with on coming traffic because he was pulling in to the side of me! That's right not in front, not behind but right in to the side (I have large mirrors on my truck). Since there was room in front of me and none behind to make a quick stop I floored it and pulled in front of this moron to get back in the travel lane. Well Johnny Fruits and Nuts decides to then whip over in to the LTL, pass me, and slam on his brakes, which I saw coming and had slowed a bit for already. Now I'm a little steamed because he's being a total idiot in traffic twice!! He blasts on down the road.... until he get's stuck at a stop light in traffic and I take this opprutunity to roll up on this right side, roll down my window and inform him that he is a complete DA and if he would like I could pound his pretty little swooped hair head down between his kness if he would be so kind as to pull over. He then has the stones to say "Hey dude I didn't see you." Being exceptionally quick witted this morning I reply "You didn't see a giant silver 4 door truck right beside you? You were looking at my rear wheel when you pulled over where did you think the rest of the truck was? You must have left your F'ing white cane and dog at home today huh?!" He decided to speed off again to avoid the scary redneck with the jarhead haircut I guess because he rolled up his window and started cutting through traffic

Posted by: XRpredator---------------------

I want to fight him.

Posted by: Papakeith---------------------

I want pred to fight him

Posted by: Patman---------------------

Oh sorry I didn't see either of you guys.

Posted by: Tony Eeds---------------------

They train in Dallas.

We had one cut us off a week or so ago ... put his Lexus in a space about 3/4 of a car long. Kate moved to the middle lane as the guy in front of him slowed and slowly turned right into a drive way as the moron honked his horn and waved his hands about in frustration.

I'm getting more and more tired of the traffic in big cities. The attitudes are amazing.

To make them worse, just add rain.

Posted by: Ol'89r---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patman

because some twit in an Infinity with Cali plates :

Well Patty, there's the problem.

We have more of those nitwits out here than you can imagine. I like to mess with them.

You can see them coming up in your rear view mirror for miles. They dart from the fast lane to the slow lane cutting everyone off in the process. They really don't seem to get anywhere because a few miles down the road you see them again and they usually wind up behind you. I like to box them in between a couple of slow trucks and just stay along side of them, looking straight ahead like you don't see them.

They go nuts behind the wheel, shaking their fists, pounding the steering wheel and acting like idiots in general.

Pretty funny stuff as long as they don't have a gun.

Posted by: Papakeith---------------------

I think they breed and train up here before they get shipped out your way. don't even get me started on stop signs and who has the right of way.

Posted by: squeaky---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patman

Oh sorry I didn't see either of you guys.

I swear I have an encounter like that at least once a week. Now granted I don't drive a large vehicle, I only drive a Chevy Malibu, but there are these little things on a car called mirrors. Doesn't anyone use them? Then, when you lay on the horn to say "hey, moron, you're about to run me off the road." they give me that 'What the heck did I do?" look...DUH!

I hate traffic and morons - driving in this state is one of the worst. Still not as bad as New Jersey though - I fear for my life every time I drive through New Jersey.

Posted by: Papakeith---------------------

Yeah, roads around here weren't too bad up until about 10 years ago. Then they suddenly took a serious turn for the worse!

Posted by: RM_guy---------------------

I'm tempted to cut some single track to get back and forth to work to avoid all the A Holes on the road but it would end up as quad trails and you know how those guys are.

Posted by: TwinSpar---------------------

The train horns on my truck are perfectly suited to situations like these. I had a similar run in with a jackass a while back but he saw me before he cut me off. He even pulled a similar "jam the brakes cause he was pissed for being a moron" stunt on me. I let loose with the horns which had the desired effect of him getting off the brakes and on the gas. I then proceeded to put the front bumper right on his ass. Let's just say he got the hell out of there after that! You would think he could have figured out that you shouldn't mess with big assed redneck looking trucks. I need a confederate flag! LOL

Posted by: XRpredator---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by TwinSpar

. . . You would think he could have figured out that you shouldn't mess with big assed redneck looking trucks.

Yeah, cuz the guys that own them got little penises. And they're pissed about it.

Posted by: Papakeith---------------------

Posted by: oldguy---------------------

We have our share of blind drivers up here as well. I was towing my 30ft trailer in the right lane and had a dumptruck in front of me and a 18 wheeler in the left right next to me when I see a guy accelerating up the on ramp to my right. He had clear sailing to slide in behind me but no he had to merge where I was. When I didn't back off to let him in front he pushed as close as he could to my side and finally realized he wasn't getting in so he had to brake and fall in behind. Then in the longstanding JA move he passed me on the left pulled sharply into my lane and slammed his brakes on as he flipped me off.
Now he was stuck in the right lane right in front of me for the next 10 miles and much to his surprise his exit was the same one I was using. I pulled off behind him and you could see him watching what I was going to do in his rearview mirror so much he blew a redlight a 1/4 mile down the road. I stopped but he got caught up in traffic and soon enough I was right behind him again so just to have fun I kept flashing my lights at him and at stoplights I would stop inches from his bumper. This went on for about 10 more miles before he turned off quickly with no signal at a right turn. I was almost tempted to pull over and give him a chance to pull back onto the highway since I really had the feeling he was just trying to ditch us by now

Posted by: BSWIFT---------------------

Traffic around this area is lame in comparison. I've got so many friends with the highway patrol, sheriffs office, and local departments to really enjoy some of these Aholes.
I helped box an idiot in that had pissed off a couple of truckers. When we hit road construction down to one lane, you could just about smell his shorts when one trucker started merging. About 5 miles past the construction he got to visit with a state trooper for awhile, $240.00 worth!

Posted by: Filthy_McNasty---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by squeaky

they give me that 'What the heck did I do?" look...DUH!

Or the "How dare you act like I did something wrong, this is My road!" look...

Posted by: RYDMOTO---------------------

I have a set of Hadley air horns on my car.They have saved me a few times when somebody didn't see me.
One of the days i will buy the Leslie 5 chime train horns.My son knows a guy who has one mounted in the back of his truck.Your whole body vibrates if you are within 30' when he lets them go.Check out some of the vids on you tube if you like.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8a1n_BlLD8
There is about a 10 second echo if you listen close!

Posted by: whenfoxforks-ruled---------------------

The Chicago land rude drivers can pin point downtown and spread out for hundreds of miles before they give up playing race car driver. They have no idea how many lives they in danger. I am with 89er, you can spot them easy. I am surprised I have not been shot. The Cadillac Escalade with clown tires, tinted windows and rocking fiercely at the intersection, well I did speed up and block his 3 lane pass to make a right hand turn, is priceless! And they do not enjoy doing to them what they are doing, go figure? A 1 ton plumbing van carries good momentum, with a Wiseco sticker.

Posted by: Patman---------------------

Must be something in the air today. Coming home had another situation unfold several vehicles in front of me. This time a white Lexus was doing the cut in and out on the same piece of road. Funny thing a few people in front of me caught on and boxed 'em in, then as I rolled up behind one of them the slowly started to speed up, just enough to let me in to position. Then the cars behind me figured it out.... funny stuff. Later in the evening I had to run in to civilization and had seen several DPS (state troopers) patrolling a VERY dangerous part of the highway by my house. Several ( +16) people have been killed in various accidents in the past 18 months in a 5 mile stretch. Anyway they knocked the speed limit down to 60 a month ago and were giving warnings to people. Well tonight this idiot in a little silver Dodge goes blasting past me at a good 75-80MPH after we had just passed a car getting a ticket. Just as soon as he does over the crest of the hill is another DPS coming the other way. Well the DPS spins around and uses my truck for cover because this dolt thought he got away with it and had slowed to 65 and then kicked it up when he didn't see the trooper. Needles to say I was laughing.

Posted by: bsmith---------------------

Ironic, last night I had the soccer mom try and force herself in because road construction merged 2 lanes into one and she zoomed up the right side until the last second and tried to swoop in. I didn't budge much, in fact I moved over as far left as I could to get back ahead of her and started pushing her out of my space. I've never been so close, my mirror was over her car. My daughter was in awe, "Dad, Dad, she's flipping you off"
The whole time I had my horn held down. She finally bolted out and jumped ahead one more car and he slammed on his breaks and let her in, just at the cones.

Ironically she went to the same destination, The soccer fields. So I think I'm going to take the Drivers Ed manual and give to her. Miss 4 door Burgandy Dodge Intrepid.

Posted by: Farmer John---------------------

I want a horn that plays Eric Cartman's brown note.

You guys should try Silicon Valley.
Here in Santa Korea I was setting at a light when this guy drives out of a grocery store parking lot into the side of my silver F350 crewcab long bed. He did not drive out of the stores drive way, but drove off the side walk into my motionless truck.

You should of heard his explanations & declarations of "truck was speeding", this after he tried the "no understand english" for 15 minutes.

Posted by: BadgerMan---------------------

You have to be careful out there. There are a bunch of really important people on the roads these days.

Posted by: CT-Jimbo---------------------

Being from Cali, the birthplace of driving morons, I'm really sorry you didn't smash the little twit... now he's gonna come back here

Posted by: rickyd---------------------

A few weeks ago I had a trucker tailgating me, lightly tapped my brakes to warn him, mind you I'm about 3-4 car lengths behind the car in front of me doin about 20mph. As we pull off the highway he is layin on his air horn, at this point I was laughing. So then we make the turn, he pulls up next to me yelling LOL then moves his trailer into my lane (assualt) trying to hit me. I did not slow down or anything, I wanted him to hit me, he was in a company truck. So, I get behind him and call the number on his trailer and had a talk with his dispatcher. So at the light, I pull up next to him and look over to piss him off and see he is on his nextel and he wouldnt even look at me LOL Funny part is his yard is a stone throw away from my house

Posted by: Bodge---------------------

New Jersey isnt that bad, you just have to hold your own.

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

I like traffic, morons, out-of-staters, idiots, Texans driving in SoCal, dirty birds, tailgaters, lane cutters, stink bugs, road gators and high gas prices. Welcome to my world.

Posted by: justalonewolf007---------------------

I don't like the Cali and Texas people who try driving in Minnesota.

(This coming from someone who's never driven in a town of more than 100,000.)

They either tailgate the crap out of you, try race you (and lose), or drive at exactly 23 mph with a dusting of snow on the road, when normal traffic is going 65.

I counted cars in the ditch one snowy day, and 7 out of 10, or at least every other one had either a florida, cali, or texas license plate...

My main problem occurs when I'm on my ninjette...I have to drive like I'm invisible despite the flourescent pink jacket and matching helmet. No one checks their mirrors or blind spots any more!

Posted by: BSWIFT---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

I like traffic, morons, out-of-staters, idiots, Texans driving in SoCal, dirty birds, tailgaters, lane cutters, stink bugs, road gators and high gas prices. Welcome to my world.

No lobsters or spiders!

Posted by: Ol'89r---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

I like morons, out-of-staters, idiots, gay Texans, driving in Southern San Francisco, dirty butts, tailgaters

, lawn cutters, stink bugs, road gators, cleaning up dog poop, mowing Ol'89r's lawn and high gas prices. Welcome to my world.

Posted by: fatcat216---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ol'89r

Look at me, says 89'r... I finally mastered the

Quote:

Originally Posted by I'magearheadandIreallycanoperateacomputer!

puncteeationthingamobbydeal.

Way to go 89r!!

[We only have extremely thoughtful, patient and careful drivers here in the BFE.]

Posted by: Ol'89r---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatcat216

Way to go 89r!!

[We only have extremely thoughtful, patient and careful drivers here in the BFE.]

Hey now fatcat.

I know how to do the easy stuff.

I've driven through BFE a few times and I have to agree. At least back there and most everywhere in the mid-West people respect lane control. Everyone seems to stay in the right lane until they have to pass. They even give tickets for staying in the left lane too long.

Out here in Kalifornia, the soccer moms and the people more important than the rest of us go from the onramp directly to the fast lane. Usually across two or three lanes of traffic to get there, cutting off everyone in their way in the process. Having driven heavy trucks for a while, you can see from high up in the cab of a truck that these people usually don't get anywhere. (I'm sure Pred can relate to this.) The slow lane usually moves the best during heavy traffic. You can watch them jumping from lane to lane cutting everyone off. Soon they will be behind you sitting in the fast lane not moving while their clown car wheels are still spinning.

From a truck you can really see how these people screw up the flow of traffic. If some people were not so much more important than the rest of us, traffic would flow much better.

Posted by: Papakeith---------------------

agreed.

It would also flow better if people would give just a bit of space between one another.

Posted by: XRpredator---------------------

That has become something of a game for me when I do end up hitting the traffic in the Seattle area when I go to see my brother and sister. I watch people pass me, duck and dive and dodge around, then I see how I end up passing them again.

It'd be funnier if I didn't get wound so tight when traffic gets thick.

Posted by: Green Horn---------------------

I've had my share of being po'ed at other drivers. And not to say that Pat's Cali friends aren't driving like idiots buuut...

I've found that the CALMER and more RELAXED I am when driving, the LESS other people piss me off. When I'm in a hurry everyone else is the idiot. LOL

Posted by: Patman---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green Horn

Posted by: fatcat216---------------------

ol'89r- I was way kidding about BFE drivers. Lol. Though they are a touch better than FIBs.... except...the Fibs all come here and act like they own the freakin' place.

oh wait...I think they do!

Posted by: Green Horn---------------------

I'd love to hear the other guys story. I am sure it went something like;

I was trying to get over and had my signal on. Then all of the sudden this redneck in his silver pickup comes blasting down the road and speeds up when he sees me trying to get over. He swerves in order to finally let me in but he's obviously mad that someone else had to share the road with him. He races me to the next red light where he proceeds to roll down his window and start yelling over to me. He clearly has anger management issues not to mention he clearly lacks good driving etiquette. I sware since I moved here some of these dumbass rednecks see out of state plates and it sets off their inner call of the wild. It's like they've got to prove it's THEIR state or something. He yells a couple of things at me and I'm thinking "

" whatever. He's obviously the type of guy that not only thinks the rest of the world is at fault but I bet he can't let it go either. He probably rushed into work and complained to all his co-workers and friends about me. Oh well. I'll get on with my life and maybe someday he will too.

Posted by: Patman---------------------

Yes that must be exactly what happened.

Posted by: whenfoxforks-ruled---------------------

That 3 lane pass is a national epidemic. DUHHH, my signal was on? How about the people too important for stop lights, they hang a right, pull a u-bolt and hang another right. They have truly discovered constant flowing traffic?

Posted by: High Lord Gomer---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Papakeith

don't even get me started on stop signs and who has the right of way.

A great line from a comedian I heard years ago...

Quote:

If you're sitting at a four-way stop wondering whose turn it is...it's not yours.

Posted by: Ol'89r---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatcat216

ol'89r- I was way kidding about BFE drivers. Lol. !

I sensed your sarcasm fatcat.

How about the offramp runners. These are the drivers that piss me off the most.

They get into the offramp lane like they are going to exit the interstate but, at the last second they dive back into traffic backing everyone up behind them. They maybe passed 4-5 cars by doing this but backed up traffic behind them for miles. These are the very, very special people and they don't have to wait in line like the rest of us do.

Where the hell are the cops when this happens?

The DMV should issue paint ball guns to everyone when you get a license. When someone cuts you off or does something stupid in traffic, you should be able to shoot their car. When a cop sees a car with say 5 or 10 paint ball shots on it, the driver loses their license.

Hey Gomer.
Tell 'em about the 91 freeway on a friday night of a holiday weekend.

Posted by: High Lord Gomer---------------------

The 91 is a very scenic spot to park and admire the mountains. Some entertainment was even provided by the very important people driving over the orange plasic barriers to access the HOV lane from the peasant lanes.

Posted by: motocross3---------------------

my mom was on a business trip last year and a lady went into the turn lane and my mom went to turn out and the lady went straight and plowed right into her and totaled her car and this is in n.c. and they ruled it one percent her fault so she didn't get any money paid to her and thats the stupidest rule in the world

Posted by: jackflack44---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by XRpredator

Yeah, cuz the guys that own them got little penises. And they're pissed about it.

lol i literally fell out of my chair laughing

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I didn't see you.

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