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Smack is back
(Click here to view the original thread with full colors/images)

Posted by: Tony Eeds---------------------

And it is good to see it ...

For a while it seemed like no one was willing to throw barbs ...

We need a good Elkiepoo / Twinkles cage match in here.

Those were some classics

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Cage match, that's silly, he already lives in one, I just shook it a bit. Name the track and I'll be there to spank that little monkey like he's never been spanked before.

Posted by: Farmer John---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

Cage match, that's silly, he already lives in one, I just shook it a bit. Name the track and I'll be there to spank that little monkey like he's never been spanked before.

Now that will be a challenge.....
I don't think I could think of a way TS has not been spanked.

Posted by: Ol'89r---------------------

Hey! The LYM's back.

Whatsamatter. Take a wrong turn off of the 405?

Looking for your dog?

Heard there was a sale on Krispy Creams?

Running from spiders?

Needing some Gomer man/love?

Whatever the reason, good to have you back Copper.

Posted by: Patman---------------------

LYM heard it was raining in Texas and figured he'd be able to get work mowing the grass that is growing like crazy after the long dry spell so he could by some more parts from Tidy Cat.

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Why is it that the band wagon rolls by, all you infidels jump on board, knocking each other over with your pointy shoes and puffy skirts! What a bunch of Texas Sallies. The cherry on top would be Twinkie's twin sister Chump hopping on and spanking the rest of you Texas flies right in the buttocks.

9er, you have got to be kidding, you hit your 90th birthday and you still have your mind, unbelievable. Don't you have some flat speed race thingy you were supposed to do? Go brush your dentures and change your depends, you're starting to smell funny!

Posted by: Ol'89r---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

Why is it that the band wagon rolls by, all you infidels jump on board, knocking each other over with your pointy shoes and puffy skirts! What a bunch of Texas Sallies. The cherry on top would be Twinkie's twin sister Chump hopping on and spanking the rest of you Texas flies right in the buttocks.

9er, you have got to be kidding, you hit your 90th birthday and you still have your mind, unbelievable. Don't you have some flat speed race thingy you were supposed to do? Go brush your dentures and change your depends, you're starting to smell funny!

Now, that's more like it.

I fart in your general direction copper.

Posted by: Patman---------------------

I got a big hairy.... spider with your name on it Poncherello.

I too would fart in your immediate direction but I'm sure you are used to the brown smog of the cold streets of San Francisco or where ever you and the rest of the Village People hang these days.

Posted by: TwinSpar---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

Good lord.... infidels? Seriously? Meximelt comes out of the closet yet again and this time as a gay MexiTerrorist. I guess it makes sense given his draw to dresses and tutus. Those robes look like dresses and he gets to wear a funny hat too! We all better run in fear for the coming of the Tijuana Jihad. Never mind.... his 1976 Ford truck broke down somewhere in the desert and I have been told he was last seen going from ranch to ranch to borrow some bailing wire. Fool doesn't even know that there is nothing to bail in the desert. Someone call the migra and send him back please.

Posted by: High Lord Gomer---------------------

Y'all need to back up off my occifer Elkarello! At least he was man enough to let me borrow his tutu when I came out there. The rest of you keep yours tucked in the closet until Saturday nights!

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Help like that, I DON'T need Gomer. Go change your bandages.

Well good morning Twinkie, finally roll out of your cot today? What, did you miss first call for grub at your youth offender camp? Or was it that you were too tired from your date last night with Patmanless, did he tire you out? Did Sav-on run out of manpons? When you get your manberries back, come on back to the man's conversation. Until then, I'm kinda hungry, go make me a sandwich you chapped Texas fly trap.

Patmamma, the only reason you know about brown smog is from my exhaust when I blew past you on the mini track so keep chimming fool, you don't want me to add you to THE LIST.

Posted by: Patman---------------------

THE LIST?

Please, please put me on the list! Put me on the top of the list if you dare.

You call me Patmamma because you already know I'm your daddy.

I'm awaiting another post from you at the next Krispy Kream, should be any moment.

Posted by: holeshot---------------------

Yoiks

... a drama queen, a transvestite dirt biker and a "depends" sponsored geriatric rider - and who knows what else.

It takes all kinds to make up a dirt site ....

Posted by: TwinSpar---------------------

Elk.... Don't make me engage the underground mafia for another sticker hit on you. I'm jobless right now so I got time to manage another one of those projects. Much like your brain... my job was economized.

You and your stupid strap on list....

Posted by: Patman---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by holeshot

Yoiks

... I'm a drama queen, a transvestite dirt biker and a "depends" sponsored geriatric rider - and who knows what else.

It takes all kinds to make up a dirt site ....

So which personality posted that?

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Holesnot's mind has gone blurry, it happens when you hit 70, just ask 89er if he remembers.

Twinkle toes, all you have is your stupid little stickers, it makes you feel big to sneak around in the night, tagging helpless motorcycles. You remind me of the little twerps running around with spraypaint cans, writing their stupid monikers on buildings and bridges. All you are is a wannabe Californian little gangster with red hair and freckles! Now get on your iron horse, skin that smoke wagon and see what happens!!

You are officially on THE LIST pal!!!!!!!

That goes for momma's boy Pantlessman too, you and Twinkie can fight for the number one spot cause you both share the same lack of IQ points!

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Hey Twinklebutt, this will be you, lonely on the track with no friends, no one to lick your wounds. I call this dog, "Dingo Leader of the Twinkies"

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

What do you mean you're outta work Twinkbutt, I saw you at Seaworld last weekend. You're silly.

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

And look, Farter Time contemplating how the heck he's gonna get back down that mountain. Or maybe wondering where the heck he was and how the heck he got there?? I love that old guy, his hair matched the white puffy clouds on the horizon....

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

And you thought I was kidding...

Posted by: Farmer John---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

And you thought I was kidding...

Terry, did those clouds roll in or out while you were waiting for elk to catch up?

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Oh, look who popped in, the freakin bay area cotton farmer! Take a hike green boy or you'll be added to the dreaded list.

Posted by: Okiewan---------------------

I'll remind you nubs that "LYM" does in fact carry a copyright.

Posted by: Farmer John---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

Oh, look who popped in, the freakin bay area cotton farmer! Take a hike green boy or you'll be added to the dreaded list.

Don't really care about your lisp/list.

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Yes it does Boss. All you others can kiss my

!!!

Posted by: MrLuckey---------------------

Pfft. this thread really needs someone that either has, or will ride this decade, you Sally's are running out of time to start your mopeds and hit the dirt that the neighbors suv left in the street!

Posted by: Tony Eeds---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrLuckey

Pfft. this thread really needs someone that either has, or will ride this decade, you Sally's are running out of time to start your mopeds and hit the dirt that the neighbors suv left in the street!

http://teeds.smugmug.com/photos/329233568_qqVw8-M.gif

Posted by: truespode---------------------

I'm going riding Saturday while all you ninnies sit around talking about how fast you were!

Ivan

Posted by: Patman---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by truespode

I'm going riding Saturday while all you ninnies sit around talking about how fast you were!

Ivan

Good! I was out proving how slow I am Tuesday afternoon and might just have to try again Friday afternoon

Posted by: TwinSpar---------------------

Sadly.... I am limited to street riding until I can correct my income issues.

Posted by: High Lord Gomer---------------------

My Hoveround should be here tomorrow, so it looks like I will be riding this weekend!

Don't worry, Elkie-poo...I got your back.

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Income shmincome, ride your steed fool, dirt or street, doesn't matter!

Holy crap, Eddie comes back from retirement just in time to see Terry's hair turn more white!!

Posted by: mxbundy---------------------

Tag! Just wanted to have a post in this epicness!

Hey Ponch, ever had a crawfish in your helmet?

My 9 year old girl has a bigger sac than you!

Posted by: High Lord Gomer---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by mxbundy

Hey Ponch, ever had a crawfish in your helmet?

Is that what happened to you at the fine "establishment" you went to Saturday?

Quote:

My 9 year old girl has a bigger sac than you!

I believe you were warned about buying that house under the power lines...

I GOT YOUR BACK, Elkie-poo!

Posted by: mxbundy---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by High Lord Gomer

Is that what happened to you at the fine "establishment" you went to Saturday?

I believe you were warned about buying that house under the power lines...

I GOT YOUR BACK, Elkie-poo!

Pfffft! What ever Low Life Goner!

Posted by: ChopperDave---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

Cage match, that's silly, he already lives in one, I just shook it a bit. Name the track and I'll be there to spank that little monkey like he's never been spanked before.

Spanking the monkey?

MonkeyElkSpanker!

Spanker or just a wanker?

We report, you decide!

Posted by: Okiewan---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by mxbundy

Hey Ponch, ever had a crawfish in your helmet?

Yea..
Ever fell asleep sticking food in your mouth? At a Denny's. In Vegas?

Posted by: holeshot---------------------

Originally Posted by MrLuckey
Pfft. this thread really needs someone that either has, or will ride this decade, you Sally's are running out of time to start your mopeds and hit the dirt that the neighbors suv left in the street!

Originally Posted by Tony Eeds

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tony Eeds

http://teeds.smugmug.com/photos/329233568_qqVw8-M.gif

Plus a dozen more .... this place needs a California Dirtweek ... come ride with cool people in the know ...

Posted by: 250girl---------------------

And you guys thought "fake boobs or a KTM" was a stupid thread. Wow, I'm disimpressed.

Posted by: Patman---------------------

That is because you have not lived these things missy.

BTW I sure don't remember calling fake boobs or a KTM stupid. I'm a fan of both.

A little carne asada and Jack is always a good thing too eh, Eddie? OH that remindes me! Don't make me find that picture of you in that fancy "outfit" you were sportin'!

Posted by: 250girl---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patman

That is because you have not lived these things missy.

What things? Manpons, Depends, SUV dirt, mopeds, geriatric bikers, wankers and viagra?
I hope to NEVER live these things

Posted by: Patman---------------------

Dirtweeks and Vegas SX, many of these things have spun off from those little get togethers. If you were a tighty wearing homo you could appriciate it.

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Did someone say boobies?? All you posers know I rule the road. I stand on that wall so you can sleep tight at night. This thread is as stupid as they come! California Dirtweek, hmmmmmm..... How bout a ride through Miller Canyon with no camelback at 115 degrees! Thanks for nothing Jeff!

Okie, you better take the reigns on this place or Twinkie will think he can run around in his pink thong. I need a big Texas BBQ, where the heck is that Texas chef??

Posted by: Patman---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

I stand on that wall so you can sleep tight at night.

That was supposed to be a wall to keep you out you doofus!

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

This thread is as stupid as they come!

Looking back the the number of times you posted to it I believe that is a very true statement.

Posted by: JWW---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

How bout a ride through Miller Canyon with no camelback at 115 degrees! Thanks for nothing Jeff!

I thought the ice ride last time would have made up for it. No pleasing some people.

Good times

Posted by: holeshot---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

How bout a ride through Miller Canyon with no camelback at 115 degrees! Thanks for nothing Jeff!

Thank Jeff for letting you exercise your true Drama Queen abilities.

Posted by: mxbundy---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Okiewan

Yea..
Ever fell asleep sticking food in your mouth? At a Denny's. In Vegas?

Hey I wasn't falling asleep. Eddies breath was so bad (think cheap booze and chain smoking

) It took everything I had to keep from passing out!

Posted by: Patman---------------------

Bundy how's that tree clearing business you started in Oklahoma going?

Posted by: Farmer John---------------------

Geez. This thread made me remember that stupid Creed CD.
Now I can't get it out of my head.

Posted by: Patman---------------------

Posted by: High Lord Gomer---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Geez. This thread made me remember that stupid Creed CD.
Now I can't get it out of my head.

Have you ever listened to that thing all the way through? Not many people have.

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Oh man, the memories are coming back as nightmares! The tree clearing was way cool Bundster. So are those stupid goat trails you took us on, ever think about riding the trails like it says in the manual?

I say Miller Canyon is due soon. Who's up? No Gomer, you have to sit this one out, your mangina isn't ready yet. I've got Creed pumping through the speakers as we speak.

That wall is the only thing that separates man from insanity, I'm still not sure what side I fell on though?

Posted by: BSWIFT---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Geez. This thread made me remember that stupid Creed CD.
Now I can't get it out of my head.

LOL! Good thing I wasn't drinking a Coke or I'd be cleaning the monitor! That's classic!

Posted by: Farmer John---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

I say Miller Canyon is due soon. Who's up?

Set the date officer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

No Gomer, you have to sit this one out, your mangina isn't ready yet. I've got Creed pumping through the speakers as we speak.

That wall is the only thing that separates man from insanity, I'm still not sure what side I fell on though?

listen to that CD for 36hrs. you will figure out which side of the wall your on.

Posted by: 250girl---------------------

Ok, gonna nose in here, it's driving my nuts. What's with the whole Creed CD thing..... explain?

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Settle down missy, we got it under control. Gomer is partially dressed, Farmerbutt is listening to his ipod, Bundy is sawing logs, 89er is changing his diaper, Okie is just being Okie, Twinkie is a homo, Pantmanless is just that and I am the MEXICUTIONER!

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

How bout these....

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

And this crap!!

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

And the happiest day of our lives, packing and leaving for Dirtweek! I have goosebumps, thank God I don't have to ride with Billy again!

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Oh yeah, and remember when I took a wrong turn and hit THIS jump! Wow, I was skeerd!!

Posted by: mxbundy---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by 250girl

Ok, gonna nose in here, it's driving my nuts. What's with the whole Creed CD thing..... explain?

The condensed version is a few of our esteemed group drove all the way to Dirt Week and back with a Creed cd stuck in the cd player!

Posted by: 250girl---------------------

Ok, that would make anyone homocidal. Maybe even jump out of a moving vehicle.

Posted by: Ol'89r---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

And look, Father Time contemplating where the heck is elk and am I gonna have to go back down that mountain and pick his slow a$$ up. Or maybe wondering where the heck he was and when the heck he's ever going to get there?? His hair was black when we first started up this mountain and now his hair matched the white puffy clouds on the horizon....

That's true. We waited for you for so long my hair turned white and Holesnot got old. He was just a teenager when we started up the mountain.

Hey smelk. Tell 'em about the spider in your airbox.

Goofy copper.

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

The spider in the airbox trick, ah yes, the gift that keeps on giving!

That is fine work young man, fine work indeed. Have you found the real snake in your undie drawer yet?

Posted by: Ol'89r---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

How bout a ride through Miller Canyon with no camelback at 115 degrees! Thanks for nothing Jeff!

Now that was some funny chit.

Picture this. A dehydrated elk laying flat on the ground with the two geriatric guys of the group pouring water down his pie hole. (At least we told him it was water.)

Then, we even had to load his bike for him.

Dang kids.

Posted by: Farmer John---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by 250girl

Ok, that would make anyone homocidal. Maybe even jump out of a moving vehicle.

4 adults, 1 pug, Toyota truck, Casey Ill. to Santa Barbara straight thru. 1 Creed CD.

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farmer John

4 adults, 1 pug, Toyota truck, Casey Ill. to Santa Barbara straight thru. 1 Creed CD.

...and one roll of toiletpaper....Priceless

Oh yeah, thanks 89er for peeing on me, you saved my life.

Posted by: Tony Eeds---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Geez. This thread made me remember that stupid Creed CD.
Now I can't get it out of my head.

Dayum ... you would mention that CD

Now I will think about that while trying to go to sleep. Now I need a drink!

I remember some midnight bandits and a squeeky hinge

Four broken bones in my foot a telling the doc to **** off ... I didn't need pain killers ... I had two cases back at camp and NO I was not going home for at least a week

Natty buying me Strawberry Ice Cream at Braum's as consolation for screwing up my foot

Night vision glasses to see what was happening in some tents

Funnel Cakes

a 50 and a fire

the bonfire and 5 gallons of gas

The night we fried catfish for a couple of hundred folks at Camp Tejas

Fried Pickles

Malcolm asking me if I could feed him as he was late and missed dinner with Okie ...

When Elk came over to arrest Mario for being out of Texas without his papers ...

Yep, those were special times ...

Posted by: Patman---------------------

Best fried pickles EVER! We must have made buckets of them.

Posted by: _JOE_---------------------

Fried picles

Posted by: Thump---------------------

I got to shoot a cop at Dirtweek and for those moto cops sure do go down like a sack of wet mice when you bump them on a mini bike...

http://www.dirtrider.net/gallery/fi...1/1/9/tande.jpg

There is always next time.

Posted by: High Lord Gomer---------------------

Cool pic! Is that coming out of the right hand turn leading onto the back straight at Cooperland or was that just before the left that took you to the big step-up?

Posted by: BSWIFT---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by High Lord Gomer

Cool pic! Is that coming out of the right hand turn leading onto the back straight at Cooperland or was that just before the left that took you to the big step-up?

That looks like the first table after the camel back.

Posted by: Thump---------------------

I think that was the first table after the camel back.

Posted by: holeshot---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thump

:

http://www.dirtrider.net/gallery/fi...1/1/9/tande.jpg

Is he looking for doughnuts in that pic?

Posted by: Thump---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by holeshot

Is he looking for doughnuts in that pic?

He was looking for deesnuts.

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Holy freakin holy!!!! The Chump sister is alive! You notice I was toying with you in that photo, it was all for the shot pal. And the mini bike thing, seriously, that was a hit flat out. No accident buddy, you were skeered and took me out like that skater chick. I got run over, spit on, laughed at and then roosted after being hit by a train of sisters on minis. There WILL be justice, you have no idea who I am....

Posted by: TwinSpar---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

you have no idea who I am....

You don't even know who you are... you mixed up hybrid!

Posted by: Thump---------------------

Yes Carlos, the take out was intentional. Why? Not because I was scared, but rather because I could and I knew their would be no retaliation because you are a too much of a woman to actually do anything.

And, if you did retaliate, who would set your shoulder when you wadded and dislocated it?

LOL, Bob and I were in tears yesterday laughing about the good ole days.

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Listen 2nd place Smack talker, my shoulder and you don't mix. WTF was that, "I saw this in a book, let's try it" Are you kidding me! You do make quite the nurse and my buddy Scott said to say you took that wrong when he said he was single too! That was too much bro, now can I mow your lawn again?

Posted by: wardy---------------------

wow a motorcycle photo.......with thumper riding!!! is there a current photo????

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Photoshop does wonders.

And wait a New York minute, I got to thinking and I owe you so many times I've lost count. The fricking tarantula tossed whilst I worked on intricate parts on my RM. I remember the crash on the last turn when you ate poop cause you stuffed your front wheel in my peg I believe. Now that's funny, I don't care who you are.

Posted by: Thump---------------------

How about when I pulled in to CL in the RV and you saw me reach for something. The paint gun assault began before I could even get out. LOL

Damn I want to go back

Posted by: Ol'89r---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

Photoshop does wonders.

It must be Photoshop. I don't think I have ever seen you that high and going that fast.

Either that or there is a rope tied to the back of Thumps bike.

Posted by: Thump---------------------

Then there was this.

http://www.dirtrider.net/gallery/fi...9/thump_elk.jpg

Posted by: Thump---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by wardy

wow a motorcycle photo.......with thumper riding!!! is there a current photo????

I wish there was. 2 years now....

Posted by: Farmer John---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thump

I wish there was. 2 years now....

why????

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

The paintball attack! Funny crap man, very funny. Be quiet forty niner, you should be asleep already after eating your dog food!

We need a reunion my friend!

Posted by: holeshot---------------------

Jeez .... I think I saw Elk at the track recently..

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Holesnot has achieved greatness once again, thank you but I was hoping that pix wouldn't get out. Holepapparazi

Remember Twinkie's face when he pulled up and tried to roll up his truck window before being attacked by a paintball spray of bullets! hahaha

How bout you Texan sisters make a trip out west into the land of silicon and the Socal crew takes you girls for a ride in the mountains. We'll ride slow for ya, even put 89er at the front.

Posted by: Mully---------------------

I think you should be in front, that way no one falls behind or gets lost.

Posted by: wrench---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

We'll ride slow for ya, even put 89er at the front.

As if Spider Boy would know any other way?

Posted by: Ol'89r---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by a454elk

How bout you Texan sisters make a trip out west into the land of silicon and the Socal crew takes you girls for a ride in the mountains. We'll ride slow for ya, even put 89er at the front.

Great idea Smelk!

Don't know if those Texas flat-landers can handle mountains though. I took Gomer up in the foothills behind the house one day and he came back white as a sheep.

And those were just the foothills.

Haven't seen him since.

Actually I have slowed down quite a bit since we last rode together elk. You might be able to keep up now.

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Only if you have a flat old man.

Gomer and sheep in the same sentence, how appropriate

Posted by: High Lord Gomer---------------------

Excuuuusseeee MEE, OldFartyNiner!!

Do you care to tell who was begging and pleading that I slow down on the way back to your house?!?

Posted by: Ol'89r---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by High Lord Gomer

Excuuuusseeee MEE, OldFartyNiner!!
Do you care to tell who was begging and pleading that I slow down on the way back to your house?!?

OH CRAP!

I almost forgot about that.

Lemme esplain.

So, I take Gomer up to the foothills behind the house for a little trail ride on the wide open fire roads up there. We get almost to the top and we stop because my CR250 is loading up. Bike wasn't used to going so slow, waiting for Gomer. Gomer finally shows up muttering something about narrow trails and thousand foot drop-off's or sumtin. I dunno, wasn't paying attention.

Silly flat-landers.

Anyway, it finally quits and won't restart so we find a piece of barbed wire and hook it to the back of the CRF450 that Gomer is riding and to the handlebars on my CR250. Off we go with Gomer towing me back to the house.

About a mile down the trail, the barbed wire slips over from the center of the bars to one side of the bars. Now, every time Gomer gasses the CRF450 it puts me into a huge tankslapper.

Of course, he never bothered to look back to see if I was alright. In fact, it seemed like every time we got to a gnarly section,he would click up a gear and gas it even harder. He said he couldn't hear my screams and I don't doubt it with all the maniacal laughter coming from his helmet.

Ok Gomer, I'll give you that one but, just wait til next time.

BUWWWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Gomer is such a flat lander! 89er screaming...priceless!!

Posted by: High Lord Gomer---------------------

That was the best part of the trip! I wonder how many people have ever used barbed wire as a tow rope?

Posted by: Patman---------------------

Quote:

Originally Posted by High Lord Gomer

I wonder how many people have ever used barbed wire as a tow rope?

I'll venture more than have used it for toilet paper and dental floss.... combined.

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