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Would you drug test your kid(s)?

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Posted by: kingriz1---------------------

I am doing some online marketing for a company that is selling home drug test kits online for 24.95.

There point is What could be more effective against peer pressure than your child saying
"I can't, my mom has a drug test at home"?

I am not a parent so its hard for me to tell. Would parents do somehting like this?

I can say I probably would not have tried any drug if I thought my parents would have tested me.

Would have really been a good excuse too, for avoiding peer pressure.

What do you guys think?

Kids what do you all think?

If I just broke any rules I am sorry.


Posted by: mkimbro1---------------------

I think you need to trust the job you did raising your kids, but I would definately test them if I had any suspicion about drugs. I have never tried any drugs because of the following

1 I hate needles!

2 I am alergic to cigarette smoke. (Don't know about any other kind)

3. I couldn't swallow a pill until I was a senior in HS.

4. The strongest thing I can put up my nose is my finger.

5. My mom and dad told me not to.

I have a son who is about to turn 9. He already knows how his mother and I feel about drugs and I don't think I have much to worry about.

Kinda got away from the question but my answer is Yes I would use a drug test on my kids.

Mike


Posted by: JuliusPleaser---------------------

I think drug testing for kids should be mandatory, but maybe that's why I'm single and childless.

My best friend's kid (17) brags to me that he drinks his dad's vodka and then refills the bottle with water. :silly:


Posted by: LWilson250---------------------

Well I don't have the money for drugs, and now that I killed my KX in a creek I REALLY don't have the money for them...lol...

Lee W.


Posted by: Matt_H---------------------

As a teenager(16 years old)I'll try to help ya out. To me there are three kinds of people those who do what they like, those who get presured into things like drugs, and those that believe in morals. Believe it or not if somethinf like this were on the market it would make alot of kids open there eyes and think, Oh man I remember how pissed dad was when I got bad grades what if he found out about these drugs. It would help them think hey they have a drug test at home for me what if tonight they make me take it?. I think its a good thing to have, cause they are some(not all)that do stupid things way to often.

Hope that makes some sense.

Matt


Posted by: Old CR goat---------------------

Yes sir, I would, I have, and will again if I think I need to.
I have at home test, the boys know it. I think that the fact that we have tested them, they know its not a bluff. And they know that we can at any time. Thankfully, they we negative.


Posted by: RM_guy---------------------

I'd do the testing if I suspected anything. If kids don't know and respect the consequences, they'll never learn. I don't think it hurts to put some fear into your kids when it comes to something as serious as drugs.

Thankfully I would not have had to test my son. He has seen first hand the devastating effects of drugs on some of his class mates and wants no part of it.


Posted by: thermal---------------------

What you going to do?

Get em drunk and see how well they ride dirt bikes?

I once in an interview for an engineering position had been asked.....do you mine taking a drug test?.....my reply.....I would get a much better score if you gave me an engineering test.

That is a hard question....if my parents would have given me a drug test it would drive me away from them. The only way you are going to save your kids from drugs is to be close to them. Get some smoke and get high with your kids. Then they will see you in a different light. Then they will trust you when you tell them how bad some drugs are.


Posted by: RM_guy---------------------

Quote:
Originally posted by thermal
... Get some smoke and get high with your kids...

:think I hope you're kidding
Let us know if you feel the same way when you have kids of your own. It's great if you and your kids can be friends but it doesn't always work that way.

Being close to your kids and trusting them is key but as soon as they break the trust they have to deal with the consequences and that's where being a parent comes in.


Posted by: MikeT---------------------

My boys a still really little and the only drugs they take stop runny noses. I think when they get older they will know how much I hate drugs and I doubt they will try them. If my kid went bad and I suspected it, I'd rather have the test at home to deal with the problem myself, which I would. I intend to raise my kids to have a healthy fear of me that should keep them inline. My little brother tried marajuaina once and I think I scared him so badly with how mad I got, I don't think he ever went near the stuff again. He was lucky he made it home alive with me that day, forget about the cops.


Posted by: thermal---------------------

Quote:
Originally posted by RM_guy

:think I hope you're kidding


Oh darn, I have done it again........I forgot to mention......I know nothing.


Posted by: Rooster---------------------

My neighbor has three wild teenage sons, and he keeps drug tests handy. I see the other kids they hang out with, and they are with the good crowd.


Posted by: stubbracer---------------------

Quote:
He was lucky he made it home alive with me that day


Sounds like you are more dangerous than drugs.

I agre with all that Rm_guy said and I would also test my kids if I suspected that they were using.


Posted by: nephron---------------------

Quote:
There point is What could be more effective against peer pressure than


????:think Effective against peer pressure? Maybe against the parent-child relationship, like establishing intimidation and ultimate authority as the basis for the relationship.

Personally, I'd say no way.
But if mine ever do 'em, I'll kick their everlovin' asses!


Posted by: Patman---------------------

I think it's a good option to have. I hope I don't need to resort to even having one at home and don't think I will but I guess you never know. By knowing there is one easily available on the market I think many kids will be "stronger" against peer pressure. Then I never considered anybody that tried to get me to try them a peer :mad:


Posted by: BunduBasher---------------------

Just one question, how do you administer this test. If the kid from day one refuses ever to take a test. I was that way as a kid, I never did drugs, never have, also have never been asked to do a drug test, have always put my integrity and reputation first. If someone asks me "Do I do drugs" I say no, if they asked me to prove it by taking a drug test, I may just tell them to heck off.


Posted by: chadk01---------------------

I would need evidence of use before I did anything. I don't think I would (as nephron said) intimidate them by saying, hey I have a test so becareful. I would simply say (Once I have established proof of guilt), are you using drugs?....If the answer is NO, then I would say great here take this test to give us all peace of mind.....Then again, my kids are only 2yrs and the other 9 months, so who knows what I might actually do when they are old enough and I am in that situation.
Sometimes the theory of "wow I see what it did to those guys" works, and sometimes it don't. As silly as it sounds you can look at a situation and recognize the negative and still go out and do it yourself. I know people who have died in drunk driving accidents, however, I've been guilty getting behind the wheel after seeing what happens to people. I'm 28 and my brother is 35. He got involved in drugs/alcohol when he was around 16, long story short by the time he was 25 he had spent 3 years in a max security prison (Menard in Chester, IL) and after getting out of prison was shot in the chest and back in a bar fight. Since then he has not taken a step on his own. He is now a parapalegic with no hope for recovery. Its a sad situation and maybe my parents could have done more, however, at some point you have to take responsibility for your own actions.

Sorry I got on the soap box.......:D


Posted by: a454elk---------------------

Man, what a double edged sword this one is! If you test them, after them saying that do not do drugs, and it is positive, your trust with them is shot. If you test them after they told you they don't do them, and it's negative, you're screwed, their trust with you is shot. Once you go down that road, there's no turning back, someone is going to get hurt, no matter what.

I think that there are times that a test is definately needed if there are problems of use and you need to take care of theirs and your safety. I also believe that trust between you and your kids is far more important than any test. They will screw up, they're kids, like we were. All we can do is to keep them as safe as possible. We had the same situation happen in our house with marajuana, and you can imagine my view on it! Well, without going into all the details and boring you, we found out about it, had a nice sit down with BOTH of our kids, grounded them, no yelling, just alot of talk and understanding on both parts and hoped for the best. So far, they have stayed away from it, as far as we know but we almost went the route of testing but I wanted to refrain from that at this point, didn't think it was necessary at this time. I think we made the right choice because they knew our standing on it, they understood how it could hurt them and us and we both learned from it.

The outcome was great, they knew they would get punished, rightfully so, and we had to build up the trust once again. It takes time but it's worth it. We questioned them alot after the incident and we are on top of who they have as friends. We want to know everything about them and we always always, talk to the parents.

Just my .02

Elk


Posted by: BunduBasher---------------------

It really is a tough call, same goes for drug tests in the work place, what this really says about society today is that we can trust no-one, not our employees, our colleagues, not our families, kids, siblings. Pretty sad.

Add to that drug companies trying to cash in on this, it makes me want to strangle someone - sorry Riz, you gotta admit it though, the drug companies are making a small fortune of these drug tests - what a win win situation, these guys make all these fantastic drugs, stimulants etc, and then make a bundle on selling tests to check for them, first drug tests in sports, then the workplace, now the home, what next ! :mad:


Posted by: EBOD---------------------

Back in high school, I had a friend who was drug tested by his dad (back then there were fewer test kits, but parents could still do it).

20 years later, he still HATES his dad.


Posted by: bbbom---------------------

I would only test my kids if all other approaches failed. To me it means a break down of trust. Drug testing in the workplace is a whole different ball game, it isn't a matter of trust but a matter of safety, the cost of insurance and the cost of doing business.

But I am in the construction industry and we drug test EVERYONE when they first hire on - be it a carpenter, laborer, secretary or engineer. Randoms are also used on some projects (depends upon the owner). To me, it makes good sense to weed out the users at least as best we can.

Construction pays a pretty good wage but it is one of the most dangerous means of employment. If a hand shows up to work and is not fit to be there it could be deadly to them or one of the crew. Besides,I like to know that the operators on our 140 ton cranes hooked onto a huge beam in the air above us are NOT on drugs.


Posted by: nikki---------------------

Damn... thats a tough question. :think

I don't have kids but I have seen friends get messed up with drugs and it makes me sick to watch/see. Sometimes I wish their parents knew and would do something about it - but what really can you do as a parent? If your kids are 16+ and you test them and they come up positive they are probably just gonna tell you to get lost. Then you have no relationship with your kids. Then I have seen some parents who do it with their kids (hippie parents) and don't think a little is a big deal. Hmm...

Isn't there a way to persuade your kids to say NO like being their friend and being open/honest with them instead of "scaring" them with the threat of a test? Man this is a tough choice. I guess the only time I would test my own child is if it had gotten out of hand and was really pointing towards drugs. I just don't know.

I want to have a great relationship with my kids. And it seems that when I see others with a strong and healthy parent-child relationship, it is more like a friend-guidance-mentor relationship than where the parents act like "police". The "police" act is only gonna push your kids away... hmmm...


Posted by: bsmith---------------------

I think if you raise your kids proper you won't have to worry.

But if I was suspect I would have no guilt giving them a pop-quiz

I think also it is good to be your kids friends and earn their trust, yet then who will be their parent.:think surely not their friends .
So I'd have to disagree with some of the comments


Posted by: Maru16---------------------

i'd say test them. personally i got nothing wrong with a drug test. i don't do drugs mainly because, 1. it ruins your life, 2. you can't think straight, 3. you lose money from it, 4. it does nothing good for you anyway, it isn't healthy, 5. it gets you into trouble, 6. once you're in it, you can't get away from it and 7., i just don't like 'em. don't like the smell of cigarrette smoke either.

do they drug test the kids at school?


Posted by: Old CR goat---------------------

Quote:
Originally posted by EBOD
Back in high school, I had a friend who was drug tested by his dad (back then there were fewer test kits, but parents could still do it).

20 years later, he still HATES his dad.


Hmmmmm, was he using back then, and is he still using?


Posted by: chadk01---------------------

I'd have to disagree with the whole "Raise your kids proper" theory and you won't have to worry. I guess that means as long as I don't smoke I won't get lung cancer????? I do agree that common sense will tell you what not to do, in other words, don't smoke bud in front of your kids and then expect them not to try it......Though even after doing all the "proper" things kids can still go astray and anybody who believes they do not need to be concerned is very naive.


Posted by: JuliusPleaser---------------------

I got high every day in high school. I did a variety of recreational drugs and drank a lot, too. I was 22 before I got tired of waking up in the hospital (or worse, JAIL). If I thought there was a chance that I would be busted during school, I probably would not have turned into a stoner.

My father suspected, but I always denied it, and he always believed me. The power of denial is awesome. I say test 'em.


Posted by: bsmith---------------------

I didn't say I wouldn't worry, I'm just saying that if you lay a good foundation you odds are better you won't need the test, but I would use us it if I felt that I wasn't feeling the love:D


Posted by: WoodsRider---------------------

There are a lot of other signs to watch out for like:Granted, not all of these clues pertain to drug use and some kids that do use show none of these signs. However, the biggest tool a parent has in their arsenal is communication. If you suspect your child is using drugs, talk to them. Take them down to where the crack whores and homeless hang out. Take them to one of those inmate interference groups, it's suprising how many people in prison are there because of drugs. Counseling groups, church youth groups, any kind of positive reinforcement activity. It's suprising how many kids think they are fooling their parents.


Posted by: zio---------------------

Hey Julius Pleaser, guys like you and I won't need testkits. I know, no kids for you... but I'll pick on you anyway. You know the saying "you can't con a con". The hard part is going to be saying "do as I say, not as I did when I was your age". My son & daughter will see how (very luckily) I turned out o.k. The easy part will be showing them pictures of dead friends.

I want to have a very honest relationship with them, and create an environment where they can come to me with anything. It'll be a tough crux to overcome when it happens. I can tell you this, though- there will be a ZERO TOLERANCE policy in my house. Enforcing it may get tricky. Lets just hope I can raise them well enough to never want to do drugs in the first place.


Posted by: kingriz1---------------------

Its a urine test and you get the results in 6 minutes.

I agree that an open relationship and trust is the best. But today the stats say 45% of kids will try drugs before they graduate high school. I for one think the number is higher than that.

100% of drug addicts started by trying it out once. No one ever said "gee let me screw up my life and get addicted to heroin".

Its a tough call I dont know what choice I would make. The rules have changed since I was a kid, and today parents have to use different tactics to win the war.

I think if approached properly it could be a good thing. Might open up dialogue. And make it a reward thing. 50 bucks every time you pass one.


Posted by: mkimbro1---------------------

My wife works for Eckerds drug and I think they sell a drug test that uses the persons hair. That could be used if you wanted to do it on the sly.

Mike


Posted by: MTRIDER---------------------

I see where we are going and why we are going that way ? So once you found out that you have NO relationship with your kid and you cant talk to them, because all they do is lie to you about using.....Then you wizz quiz them and you find something in there system..Start them in a remote 12 step program....well I could go on and on.Drug prevention is best through education not scare tactics ....


Posted by: Kawi250Kid---------------------

My mom is a pharmacist and has easy access to home drug tests. She tried to make me take one before, i just said no and walked away even though i was/am clean. My mom has told me that she use to grow weed in our backyard until i was 7. She's shown me pictures of her and my dad each holding a 5-7 foot tall plant. She decided to quit growing not because i was getting older, but becuase i was at a Cub Scout meeting and a D.A.R.E. officer give us the say no to drugs speach. He held up a picture of a marijuana (sp?) leaf and i loudly told my mom that that picture looked like her tamato plants And she has the guts to ask me to take a test?

Quote:
My wife works for Eckerds drug and I think they sell a drug test that uses the persons hair. That could be used if you wanted to do it on the sly.


If you did that, what good would it do? "Son you are grounded, blah blah blah for smoking pot. I took some hair off your comb and had it tested" If my mom did that to me, i seriosly think i would never talk to her again. Your kid might then go smoke for drugs to rebel against you. You just basically lost your kid to drugs because you were sneaking around.

And with all the stories (and the "harvest" photos) she shared with me, I am clean. I tried it once in highschool, but that was it.

Ok, I'm done. I just wanted to say that becuase my mom has 3 home drug tests in the bathroom cabinet.


Posted by: RMXkid---------------------

i think it is a lost cause. you are better off saveing you money on the test kits and getting gas for you bike. If they are gonna do drugs, they will do it anyway. I have friends that have been on probation for doing drugs and have to go take a weekly drug test for the courts and they still do it. this is why i think it is a lost cause.


Posted by: whyzee---------------------

Would you drug test your kid(s)?

I think you have to trust your kids, I have a 9 and 17 year old that if asked will tell me the truth. It's how you raise your children, you either know them or you don't. Too many parents seem to want nothing to do with their kids once they are in their teens. That's sad. I know what to look for and what to ask. Besides I have instilled values in my kids, they would rather pull their own teeth, than lie to someone.
ave


Posted by: txvintage---------------------

My kids have my trust until I have "absolute" reason to believe otherwise. If there is a good reason to suspect useage, I'll test.

I believe both of my kids, 11 and 15, have heard our teachings and beliefs about drugs and what they can do to you and you life.

That being said, everyone chooses their own path in life. I don't buy into the line of reasoning that someone who grew up in a less than favorable environment should be excused from responsibility for their actions. I believe this because I think that while our environment influences us, the ultimate decison of how we conduct ourselves is each person's responsibility.

In all honesty, I have to apply the same standard to the "if you give your kid the perfect environment growing up, they will not make bad decisions" line of reasoning. It sure does sound nice and comfy though.

I live 10 minutes from Plano. Tx. Many of you may have heard of it, it's the town where all of the kids from the average household income of 200K families were/are killing themselves with heroin overdoses. These kids have everything going for them. Do some of them suffer from emotional neglect? I'm sure they do, but the fact is it has become the fashionable thing to do in their world, and it's killing them.

As someone said ealier in the thread, 100% of addicts, and I'll add O.D. victims, started out with a first "recreational" try. Someone also observed that denial is a strong emotion.

I would only test my kid if I felt it was necessary, but I would in a heart beat if I thought it would make a difference in their future. I would rather have an alive and productive kid who resented me than a dead or burned out kid I could have done more to help.

OK, I'm done.


Posted by: Jaybird---------------------

Is this test for distance or accuracy?:think ......

We have tests for pot, coke, and alcohol sitting right on top of the police scanner. We have 4 kids and thy know that testing is an option. It in no way harms any sort of parent/child relationship whatsoever. The alternative, on the other hand, can.

My wife is a special child advocate working for the superior court system. My kids knows she means business, but we still have the tests available. We havn't used them yet, but we will at the first sign of trouble.

Our kids pediatrician told us just last week that kids "huffing" or inhaling things to get high is out of control. He claimed that he is seeing epidemic proportions of this activity. He asked if he could test our kids for inhalants. He did, they are clean, we are happy.


Posted by: mx547---------------------

have you all forgotten what it was like being a kid? i think many of you are in for a rude awakening.


Posted by: whyzee---------------------

Jay,
You're 2 years and three days older than I am, I'll bet our teenage resumes look pretty close for the mid to late 70's. I have never forgotten because I wish I had never done 1/10 of the stuff I never got doing. : eek: I tell my parents every time I see them 'thanks for not giving up on me'. Today I own my own company, though the economy has affected it, we are still strong. I grew up mentally, and I devote a lot of time to "developing" my kids. We have had problems...15 years old...:mad: but we got over it. I think that if you are firm with your direction and instill values at an early age, there is a chance of success.

Quote:
rude awakening
??? Not this family, I know where the train is going.
Dave


Posted by: MONKEYMOUSE---------------------

No i NEVER woud test my kids, I would let the cops:D. But I woud be very pissed at my mom/dad if they had to test me. If they cant trust me I cant trust them. 2 of my friends were arested for possesion lastnight and one also got "assalt on an officer" allthoe he didnt tuch the guy but he pretended to:silly:. And I know other kids thats parents found out they smoke weed. One kids parents were mader when they found out that she smoked cigerets than that she smoked weed. But drugs are so prevlent(sp?) to day. I could get ANYthing that I wanted. as for peer presher its not any thig for me its not there.

sorry bout the spelling this is a concern to me as well as others


Posted by: mkimbro1---------------------

Quote:
[i]


If you did that, what good would it do? "Son you are grounded, blah blah blah for smoking pot. I took some hair off your comb and had it tested" If my mom did that to me, i seriosly think i would never talk to her again. Your kid might then go smoke for drugs to rebel against you. You just basically lost your kid to drugs because you were sneaking around.

[/B]


That statement about the hair test was strictly for informational purposes. I did not say that I would use it. Quite the contrary, I would make my kid piss in the cup while I stood behind him if he gave me reason to. My son and I have a good relationship which includes dirt bikes and other sports. I am sure we will have our problems along the way, I used to fight my dad at every turn. I thought he was the dumbest person on earth. I have discovered the older I get, the smarter he gets. It is a parents obligation to try and protect and guide their kids until they are young adults and beyond.

Mike


Posted by: Jaybird---------------------

Trust is something you do when your kids leave off on thier own.
Until that time, my kids will have to trust that we will test them at the first sign of trouble.

Jay, I absolutely remember how it was when I was a kid....exactly why I will test them in a heartbeat!
There will also be no rude awakenings in our house...we know just about everything each and every one of our kids does...good, bad, or indifferent.
See, my parents were the naive, trusting type. It don't work.


Posted by: Miltonyz---------------------

I think that I would be very upset if my parents decided to drug test me for no reason. I wouldn't test positive for drugs but still I would be upset. I understand if your kids comes in smelling funny and not looking right.Frankly if I looked like that I would half expect them to. But I don't feel that arbitrary drug testing leads to a healthy atmosphere.
Therer are three big stoppers in my opinion. One people are not in control of themselves when they are under the influence of drugs. I have seen drunk and high people before and I would never want to act like they do.
Two my parents would make my life miserable if I ever did such a thing.
Three I enjoy the fact that my parents trust me and that they are not constantly scrutinizing me.
I believe one and three are probably the true reaons. If I really wanted to I could probably go smoke at lunch or hide a fifth under my bed. But then I am putting that trust in danger and I think once that happened things start to go downhill. Even if I do not get caught. However I believe that random drug testing is almost as bad for trust as me doing the drugs. It would make me think my parents don't trust me. If they don't trust me anyway why should I work to make sure that trust is maintained . I think that leads to bad situations. If I come off sounding against drug testing I'm not. I do believe in it if you have reasonable suspicions. If however the kid's test proves that he does not do drugs then trust has been broken and I don't know if it can be gotten back. I think your children doing drugs reflects upon you as a parent. Even though the choice eventuallty becomes the childs your guidance through their life molds them. I only pray that I never have reason to doubt my children when I become older.


Posted by: Jaybird---------------------

I don't see it as breaking any sort of trust. You kids have to realise that WE as parents are responsible for all of your actions. ALL of your actions, ask any judge about that one if in doubt.
Now a random test may seem as a break in trust to a kid, but to me it would only reinforce the notion that my wife and I could at any time demand a test, which would help things in the event that you were actually being influenced from somewhere outside the home that was beyond our immediate control.

Parents have responsibilities. Kids may think it, but they have yet to master the whole responsibility thing yet. Also, if you have apathy towords your parents for testing you, then you have issues that go beyond the drug thing.
Would an irresponsible parent take the time and expense to test a kid?
Think about it.


Posted by: spanky250---------------------

Quote:
It's great if you and your kids can be friends but it doesn't always work that way.
Amen. I try to be my boys' friend, but first and foremost, I am their father. They are still young, 5 and 8, but when the time comes, if I suspect that there is a reason to need to test them, I certainly will. I also search their rooms, and when they are old enough to date, I will screen their dates, and decide if their friends are acceptable or not. Call me a tyrant or whatever, but I don't want them making the mistakes that I made when I was a teenager. I got involved with a bad crowd of friends, and in order to "fit in and be cool", I got involved with drugs. It took almost going to prison to open my eyes, and looking back, I regret all of it. This won't happen to my kids if there is any way that I can prevent it. If that means using whatever tools are neccessary, then that is what I will do.


Posted by: Maru16---------------------

i would like to say one thing that i think might have been mentioned awhile back. Just because your kids may not talk to you or do things with you or anyone else for that matter does not neccessarily mean they may be up to something illegal like drugs. They could be depressed with their life. More often than not, they are depressed because they do not know what to do with their life, but at the same time they do not want their parents or friends to know, because they do not want to get them involved, with what they consider nothing that is important to talk about, or, they may want to figure it out on their own.
Or, it could be that there is so many choices that they can do with their life, that they don't know which way to go. Their parents may say this and that and tell them otherwise. This may cause them to become quiet because they know what you are going to say, and they know that you are not going to be of any help. Therefore they know it is useless to try and tell someone of what they want to do in life, and more often than not, they become stuck and withdraw from everyone, or they just keep silent and when asked about what they want to do in life, they either change the subject or make it into saying what their parents want them to do, when its actually something else.
I know you parents are supportive of your kids, but there are parents out there who just don't know what is going on under their eyes.
I am quiet only because i don't like crowds, and i have a lot on my mind. What i want to do, which is about 8 different things and just things that most teenagers don't think about. I just take it slow and think about the present and whats to happen. And though some kids don't take criticism/flames too well, that is what i feed off of to keep me going for what i believe in.
In other words, its not always drugs that are to blame, sometimes the kid is just lost and the parent either doesn't see it, isn't supportive, or is supportive but thinks the kid should do something else, and that doesn't neccesarily help.
The parent should just be supportive and helpful in what the kid wants to do.
Then there's the factor that the kid may be doing drugs because they have found nothing good to do with their life, and are just throwing it away. The test only says if they are doing drugs or not, but does it help with keeping the kid away from drugs and showing them what they have to live for?


Posted by: ghunter---------------------

Lots of good responses.

To answer the original question: Yes, I would test my kids if I felt there was just cause. Being a parent isn't only about trust or being your child's best friend. It's also about giving your child the necessary tools to be a decent, productive human being that contributes to society and to their own well-being.

Hopefully, none of us will need to test our kids as we all seem to enjoy involving them into the same great sport that we enjoy. But there are times when no matter how well a child is raised, he/she will rebel and do stupid things. Another part of being a parent is dealing with these situations in a way that discourages further acts of rebellion, stupidity and carelessness.

I believe that my children should have a healthy respect for my wife and I(read that any way you want!). I also believe that mutual respect for my children is necessary. I will always attempt to trust my children before my instincts as I am human and fallible. However, I am not stupid or out of touch with reality. I've probably experienced anything and everything that they possibly could at one time in my life. These experiences enable me to better raise my children by giving me good and bad memories and allowing me to demonstrate the results of my decisions, both wise and unwise.

Once a child crosses the line and refuses to respect either the parent or our rules, they deserve whatever follows. This includes snooping in their rooms, reading their email, checking out their friends, listening to their telephone conversations, and Drug Testing. It also DEMANDS that as responsible parents we prevent further occurences of disrespect, dishonesty, or disobedience. We as parents MUST make every possible effort to love, educate, respect, and trust our kids. But we must also reprimand them when needed to enforce rules and to teach them that they will receive worse punishment from society if they fail to live within society's laws. How else will they learn that every choice they will ever make has it's own consequences?

Just my opinion.


Posted by: Hucker---------------------

I don't know about you, but a drug test isn't going to do a damn thing. If the kid wants to try them, him/her is going to try them. The only thing you can go is instill some good values and morals into your kid and thats about it. I had a great family upbringing, but hell peer pressure is a PITA and I've done my share of stupid things. Have any of those incidents scarred be for life? Nope, maybe I'm lucky. I've tried quite a few different kinds of things, but usually I found out for myself that they all sucked (ok, ok I don't mind a nice cold Coors Light after a day on the bike) Experimentation is a part of growing up. You can't limit that from someone, I have a good idea fo any parent that wants to try a drug test at home.

Anwser this one question.

Have you EVER tried drugs? Maybe a puff on a reefer at a party? Just one time?

If you said yes, throw your drug test in the garbage and worry about your parenting skills, not the fact that your kid might try drugs one time, somewhere.. You can't stop it, so let nature take its course and hopefully you've done your job as a parent...


Posted by: Jaybird---------------------

Hucker,
Rooooooollll another one.


Posted by: txvintage---------------------

Quote:
Originally posted by Hucker
Anwser this one question.

Have you EVER tried drugs? Maybe a puff on a reefer at a party? Just one time?

If you said yes, throw your drug test in the garbage and worry about your parenting skills, not the fact that your kid might try drugs one time, somewhere.. You can't stop it, so let nature take its course and hopefully you've done your job as a parent...


I can't, and don't want to, speak for everyone else who resonded to this, but my response wasn't about a one time experimental use.

Hell yes kids will be kids. Anyone who thinks otherwise is living with their head in the sand. I would test if I thought there was a problem, and a problem can only be identified with careful observation over a period of time.

Do you really think this is about experimental youthful curiousity?


Posted by: kingriz1---------------------

Well I dont know about this just do a good job as parents and hope for the best. I dont have kids, but I have a 15 year old little brother.

The stats show that we are losing this war. PERIOD!!

I would rather have the extra deterrant than not.

I think if parents had one a test at home it would be one more reason not to try it that first time. Our kids and parents need all the help they can get.

Hucker would you try drugs for the first time, if you were a kid and you thought there was a fairly good chance you would get busted by your parents?

As a parent I would rather know for sure!


Posted by: crkid---------------------

i'm 16, and i hate taking drugs to even fix my ailments (runny nose, etc.). i've done em' and quit and don't wish them upon anyone. i am not a parent and don't plan on being one for a long time, but i know i would not want my kid doing drugs. my answer is yes, i would drug test my kid(s). i agree with the fact that you should trust what you taught them, but my parents taught me great, but all that doesn't matter when you're with "friends". i hate to see it when parents give up on their children and things like that, i know i don't have the experience or anything, but when i have a child i would do anything for him/her. i would love them to my fullest ability, which includes looking after their well-being. so yes.


Posted by: Hucker---------------------

Quote:
Originally posted by Jaybird
Hucker,
Rooooooollll another one.


You know what? I was afraid I'm come across as the local pothead!! The funny thing is I'm allergic to smoke and those damn things would kill me. I was just trying to look at it from another perspective. Kids are going to be kids, and if they want to try it, they will if you have a drug test at home or not.

And for the record, the only thing I indulge myself in come in brown bottles with twist caps.


Posted by: Jaybird---------------------

The "so-be-it" attitude won't work.

I want to know when they try drugs right off the bat, not later when it may be too late.
Just because a parent may have gotten ripped when they were young does by no means mean they can't still be responsible parents. Perhaps these parents' folks weren't as caring when they were young.

btw...we have an alcohol test sitting right next to the pot and coke test.


Posted by: motometal---------------------

Quote:
Jay, I absolutely remember how it was when I was a kid....exactly why I will test them in a heartbeat!


Jaybird, I don't think you turned out all that bad, with or without lenient parents!

maru16, excellent post. I think the general upbringing and environment is more important, the "root cause" so to speak of kids turning to drug abuse.

there is a difference between a little peer pressure and experimenting, and habitiual problems, grades suffering, problems with the law etc.

as far as a drug test, in my opinion part of the problem with drug testing is that the (debatably) mildest drugs such as pot stay in your system for sometimes over a month, while some hard core drugs such as crack can leave your system in hours or a few days. Maybe this doesn't apply as much to checking kids, but as far as random workplace checks, in my opinion a more accurate or fair test is needed (such as the hair test). Is it fair to fire a guy that smoked a bit of pot (outside of work) a month before the test, but pass a person that did crack on the weekend and test clean by Monday? I'm not necessarilly against workplace drug testing, but just think it should be fair and accurate if it's done.



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