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Latest stock market terminology 8 ^ )
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Posted by: 70 marlin---------------------
To be an astute and well informed investor one should be familiar with
>the terms used when dealing with the stock market.
> >
> >These terms have been updated to fit today's times:
> >CEO: chief embezzlement officer.
> >
> >CFO: corporate fraud officer.
> >
> >BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
>himself for a financial genius.
> >
> >BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the
>wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
> >
> >VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
> >
> >P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
>market keeps crashing.
> >
> >BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
> >
> >STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell
> >
> >STOCK ANALYST! -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
> >
> >STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
>between themselves.
> >
> >FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
> >
> >MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
> >
> >CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
>toilet.
> >
> >YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per
>share.
> >
> >WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought
>Yahoo @ $240 per share.
> >
> >INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a
>nuthouse.
> >
> >PROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.
> >
>
>
Posted by: RM_guy---------------------
Good ones 
Posted by: linusb---------------------
The sad thing is...they're all TRUE!!! 
:whiner:
Posted by: Tony Eeds---------------------
Excellent :thumb: :thumb:
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