This is for the folks that say their parents will never end up in a nursing home:I hope you have an 4 or 5 grand a month layiong around cause thats what it takes to have a full time nurse on hand,not including med expenses.And just think they are only a small blockage in an artery and a couple of heartbeats away from not being able to feed themselves,walk,stand,talk,move their bowels and bladder themselves or even know that you are in the room,so when you say they will never go to a nursing home(like I used to say)just remember it does get very bad and you might need the help of a nursing home.
Why do we discard our old people?
- Thread starter a454elk
- Start date
meangrn,
I, and I think most of the rest, were referring to people who just put their parents in a nursing home because of convenience for themselves. Of course if there are medical reasons then that is a different story.
A lot of people put there parents or old folks in homes because they just dont want to deal with it, or are too busy with their own lives.
I, and I think most of the rest, were referring to people who just put their parents in a nursing home because of convenience for themselves. Of course if there are medical reasons then that is a different story.
A lot of people put there parents or old folks in homes because they just dont want to deal with it, or are too busy with their own lives.
SpeedyManiac
Member
- Aug 8, 2000
- 2,378
- 0
My grandpa is 73 years old, had a triple by-pass and valve replacement 2 years ago, but no way will he be in a nursing home. Last summer I took him out dirtbiking (him on my bike, I rode my dad's). He golfs, and can ski better than most 20-30 year olds, though he has slowed down a bit since the surgery. He does drink, but he shouldn't, the doctor said it counteracts his medicine for his heart. His driving is getting pretty scary, but he's still the best!! I would never dream of discarding my parents or grandparents into some nursing home unless absolutely necessary. Some people need their @$$es kicked, because your elders looked after you, why not return the favor? Patman, I hope that you're able to get your grandpa to move back down closer to you.
- Jun 5, 2001
- 7,538
- 18
- Thread starter
- #29
Like Riz said, it's not that people put the elderly in the homes but when it's done because they want them out of their hair, that's wrong. Of course there is a time that it may have to be that way. My parents have been putting money away because they think I want the big cash when they cash it in. Little do they know that I'd rather have them spend their money every month, or let us help them spend it, to have them live with us. Balance out the costs of having a nurse there all the time if need be. I don't want their money, I want them to spend every last dime that they worked for up to the very end. Let's use it to offset the medical fees, have them enjoy living around the kids.
It shouldn't be a chore to pack up the family and go and visit grandma or grandpa for the day. My kids get all bent when we go and visit or grandpa for the day, or over night. If they only knew how much it means for him to have his family just hanging out with him for a day or two. It's not like you have to make and create conversation 24/7 just being there, making lunch, watching tv, whatever, that's all it takes. When we leave, he cries because he is so alone during the week. Tears me up! He lost his wife over 10 years ago and can't wait to see her again. We can't imagine what it's like to have your spouse around for 50 years and then oneday, they're gone. I know if I'm 80 years old and my wife goes first, I would just want to pass on because of the loneyness I will have to suffer through.
Elk
It shouldn't be a chore to pack up the family and go and visit grandma or grandpa for the day. My kids get all bent when we go and visit or grandpa for the day, or over night. If they only knew how much it means for him to have his family just hanging out with him for a day or two. It's not like you have to make and create conversation 24/7 just being there, making lunch, watching tv, whatever, that's all it takes. When we leave, he cries because he is so alone during the week. Tears me up! He lost his wife over 10 years ago and can't wait to see her again. We can't imagine what it's like to have your spouse around for 50 years and then oneday, they're gone. I know if I'm 80 years old and my wife goes first, I would just want to pass on because of the loneyness I will have to suffer through.
Elk
Pokie
Administrator
elk ...thanks for this thread.....
... it gives us oldies hope that the youngest generation reading these comments will get inspired to reciprocate their parents' brat caretaking. I get teary reading all the wonderful stories of caring DRNers....
But then there are the elderly, like my mother, who loved being in a nursing home (low level assistance) until her passing at 94 only a couple of years ago. To her, it was like a hotel and really did not want to impose on her boys. just near one of us, who would be there for a daily check and weekly outing/shopping. Fortunately she never needed much assistance until her last few weeks.... (my father was not so lucky due to his cancer bout).
I hope to be as fortunate as my mom in matters of health and live to 94.... got 32 years to go.... hell that must make me a youngster (like Patman and xpd..)...... where's my bike.... gotta go ride.... we got spring weather up here in Chicagoland; keep the stories coming; love to read them!
happy week to everyone
... it gives us oldies hope that the youngest generation reading these comments will get inspired to reciprocate their parents' brat caretaking. I get teary reading all the wonderful stories of caring DRNers....
But then there are the elderly, like my mother, who loved being in a nursing home (low level assistance) until her passing at 94 only a couple of years ago. To her, it was like a hotel and really did not want to impose on her boys. just near one of us, who would be there for a daily check and weekly outing/shopping. Fortunately she never needed much assistance until her last few weeks.... (my father was not so lucky due to his cancer bout).
I hope to be as fortunate as my mom in matters of health and live to 94.... got 32 years to go.... hell that must make me a youngster (like Patman and xpd..)...... where's my bike.... gotta go ride.... we got spring weather up here in Chicagoland; keep the stories coming; love to read them!
happy week to everyone
Cactus Rider
Sponsoring Member
- Jan 11, 2002
- 45
- 0
It's nature !
Deep down we are still ordinary mammals.
The old make room for the young, sometimes they are killed, sometimes just
thrown out of the community. Either way they get rid of 'em.
We do not kill the old, but we "trow"them out of society but in a less cruel manner than our fellow mammals do.
In the larger perspective , the eldery are not so bad treated as it seems.
It is put to simple to just honour the old because they build our country,
battled our wars.
They did not !
They build their country, and battled their wars.
They also are responsable for the polution, to name an example.
Every generation lives its own life,builds its own world and the next generation has to deal with that.
All by the same law: BIOLOGY
Deep down we are still ordinary mammals.
The old make room for the young, sometimes they are killed, sometimes just
thrown out of the community. Either way they get rid of 'em.
We do not kill the old, but we "trow"them out of society but in a less cruel manner than our fellow mammals do.
In the larger perspective , the eldery are not so bad treated as it seems.
It is put to simple to just honour the old because they build our country,
battled our wars.
They did not !
They build their country, and battled their wars.
They also are responsable for the polution, to name an example.
Every generation lives its own life,builds its own world and the next generation has to deal with that.
All by the same law: BIOLOGY
- Jun 5, 2001
- 7,538
- 18
- Thread starter
- #33
Cactus, you might want to print your response out and keep it for the future. Someday, down the road, you'll be wondering why your kids won't come and visit you. Why you sit there day by day, waiting to die, wanting to die because you are lonely. Hoping that your son, who you busted your nuts to raise, won't come and hold your hand while you lay in bed. Or why your daughter, who you protected and walked down the aisle to her new protector, won't come and have lunch with you, or wipe your brow with a cool cloth. The idea that you won't have anything to do with what your father or mother did is ridiculous. Think of the things you do and enjoy in your every day life. Yes, your parents in some way contributed to it.
That's also pretty selfish to say that it's their wars, not yours. Like they had a choice in all of them, give me a break.
I can only hope that when the day comes that you grow old, your response that I told you to print out will be stuck to your forehead while you sleep, alone, waiting for a visitor!
Elk
That's also pretty selfish to say that it's their wars, not yours. Like they had a choice in all of them, give me a break.
I can only hope that when the day comes that you grow old, your response that I told you to print out will be stuck to your forehead while you sleep, alone, waiting for a visitor!
Elk
G. Gearloose
Pigment of ur imagination
- Jul 24, 2000
- 709
- 0
It is argued they fought their father's wars. Did you wan't to be responsible for the world at 17? I didn't. They made the best of the hand-me-down world problems they were given, imo. something to think about.
Cactus Rider
Sponsoring Member
- Jan 11, 2002
- 45
- 0
I did not assume the elderly, as a group, DESERVE this.
I only stated that it is natural behavior,the young move on, the old can't keep up.
I loved and respected my parents till their death,only for what they
PERSONALLY did , not automatically for their age.
My fathert's father was a real ******* ,my mothers father on the other hand an adorable man.The grandmothers were just the opposite.
The automatism to respect someone just because he/she stayed out of the morque for decades is scary.
I've had a lot of discussions with my parents about what their GENERATION has put us up with.I should not have done that.
And it's the same discussion I have with my kids now(age 18 and 16) , about my GENERATION.They should not do that.
Why ? Because I think it is pretty stupid to judge people as a group.
Unfortunately I sometimes lure myself into that trap.
There are elderly I adore and elderly I despise.
Whites I adore, Whites I despise, Blacks I adore, Blacks I despise
etc.etc.ands a lot of grades in between.
If my kids think I deserve to vegetate in a elderly home,well so be it.
It is in my power to make them love me so this won't happen.
If I make it unpossible for them to love me,they should leave me.
I printed it out, good idea ! Perhaps it is usefull to remind myself about the circle of life,when I stare out of the window in a elderly home, drowning in selfpitty.
René
:D
I only stated that it is natural behavior,the young move on, the old can't keep up.
I loved and respected my parents till their death,only for what they
PERSONALLY did , not automatically for their age.
My fathert's father was a real ******* ,my mothers father on the other hand an adorable man.The grandmothers were just the opposite.
The automatism to respect someone just because he/she stayed out of the morque for decades is scary.
I've had a lot of discussions with my parents about what their GENERATION has put us up with.I should not have done that.
And it's the same discussion I have with my kids now(age 18 and 16) , about my GENERATION.They should not do that.
Why ? Because I think it is pretty stupid to judge people as a group.
Unfortunately I sometimes lure myself into that trap.
There are elderly I adore and elderly I despise.
Whites I adore, Whites I despise, Blacks I adore, Blacks I despise
etc.etc.ands a lot of grades in between.
If my kids think I deserve to vegetate in a elderly home,well so be it.
It is in my power to make them love me so this won't happen.
If I make it unpossible for them to love me,they should leave me.
I printed it out, good idea ! Perhaps it is usefull to remind myself about the circle of life,when I stare out of the window in a elderly home, drowning in selfpitty.
René
:D
Jewell
Sponsoring Member
- Oct 23, 2000
- 118
- 0
My 2 cents.
My father and our family are going though this as we speek.
He is at work 9 hours a day. His parents can't care for themselves while he is at work. The cost of in home nursing is way to expensive and would put him in the poor home. We put his parents in a nursing home because Medicade or Medicare will flip the bill. No other choice. I would get specific on the costs but trust me it would be impossible for the family to pay for in home care. I would rather be put into a home at an elderly age than put that kinda finacial burdon on my loved ones. My grandparents didn't want to be in a home but when you concidder the options there is no other choice. Alshimers (sp?) and malfunctions with their bodies was making it impossible for them to care for themselves so to the home they go. We visit them even though they don't know who we are anymore. Thats about all you can do.:ugg:
My father and our family are going though this as we speek.
He is at work 9 hours a day. His parents can't care for themselves while he is at work. The cost of in home nursing is way to expensive and would put him in the poor home. We put his parents in a nursing home because Medicade or Medicare will flip the bill. No other choice. I would get specific on the costs but trust me it would be impossible for the family to pay for in home care. I would rather be put into a home at an elderly age than put that kinda finacial burdon on my loved ones. My grandparents didn't want to be in a home but when you concidder the options there is no other choice. Alshimers (sp?) and malfunctions with their bodies was making it impossible for them to care for themselves so to the home they go. We visit them even though they don't know who we are anymore. Thats about all you can do.:ugg:
