High school bullies, how to deal with them?

[Lew]

Marlin;
My son has gone through this and I got no satisfaction dealing with the school officials. This only made things worse for my son. I finally got fed up with what was going on and told my son that the next time this happens, (name calling, pushing, throw his lunch on the ground, etc.) to open up and knock the sh_t out of the "leader". Well it happened and my wife and I were called to the school. Each childs record stood for its own merits. My son was a good student who did not get in trouble, and the other was in a group of boys who were continuously in trouble. So, my son had to write a report to the principal on how to handle tough situations without violence and the other boy was suspended. My son has no problems in school since that day. I hear what the others are saying in their posts, but I still believe the bottom line is he will have to stand up for himself. If that means knocking the sh_t out of them, so beit. I will bet that these boys harrassing your son have a reputation as such within the school. So, your sons story, backed by you and other student witnesses will show your son was defending himself. The standing orders with my son today are that he is not to fight unless absolutely neccessary. I have also instructed him to not allow others to intimidate him. This is the method I used when I was in highschool and older classmen would intimidate and threaten me and my friends. You know, the push followed by " I otta kick your as_". I would say something like well I am sure you can kick my as_, but I am gonna break your nose first thing. Usually, following this I suddenly wasn't worth their effort. So they would say something profoundly stupid and walk off with their buddies. I hope this might help, and that your son holds his head high.
Lew

 

[70 marlin]

Well the ball is in Jr's court. I printed out everyone's comments and had him read it. I circled the comments I liked & crossed out the unacceptble ones. then had him comment on the post he liked & why. Jr said even though these kids were acting like complete jerks! he did'nt want to have on his conscience some dork limping around because one of his action. So We'll see what happens. thanks you all for your input. and for some of you younger members. take note. :think:

 

[bigred455]

Dear Marlin 70,

I do not normally post to this board, my boyfriend does. However, I am a 6th grade teacher in NJ and I have seen first hand the kind of bullying that occurs and the futility of responding the way that several people here have suggested.

Your first contact, or your son's, should be with the school guidance counsellor. Bullying can be a serious blow to a child's (even an older child's) self-esteem and the guidance counsellor should be able to alleviate some of the negative feelings that your son may be having. Second, contact the head of discipline at your son's school and let them know that this type of problem will not be tolerated and you expect action taken. If there is no action, then contact your local police and a lawyer. The school has a legal responsibility to provide a safe environment for every single child. If they fail to do so, you could have the grounds for a lawsuit. If the bully is eighteen, then the bullying is a criminal offense - harrassment.

I hope this helps.

God Bless,

Miss Andrea Brida

 

[70 marlin]

Originally posted by bigred455
Dear Marlin 70,

I do not normally post to this board, my boyfriend does. However, I am a 6th grade teacher in NJ and I have seen first hand the kind of bullying that occurs and the futility of responding the way that several people here have suggested.

Your first contact, or your son's, should be with the school guidance counsellor. Bullying can be a serious blow to a child's (even an older child's) self-esteem and the guidance counsellor should be able to alleviate some of the negative feelings that your son may be having. Second, contact the head of discipline at your son's school and let them know that this type of problem will not be tolerated and you expect action taken. If there is no action, then contact your local police and a lawyer. The school has a legal responsibility to provide a safe environment for every single child. If they fail to do so, you could have the grounds for a lawsuit. If the bully is eighteen, then the bullying is a criminal offense - harrassment.

I hope this helps.

God Bless,

Miss Andrea Brida

Thank you for your reponse Miss Brida.
yes I've been down the road with the proper people already with the exception of the police. and have threatend them with that action!
and have had a good lip service. but not much action from the school. Jr just going to have too stand up for him self!

 

[bwalker]

Dirty tricks aside a good hard punch to the nose is usually all it takes to change a bully's mind. Even if it doesnt work completly you will have enough time to hit him again or use my favorite technique a police buddy taught me of kicking him in the side of the leg which will make the bully collapse. The good ol cajone grab and twist has its place also.

 

[Speedway]

Marlin,
You may want to take the advice of setting JR up in a martial arts school, I have seen it work wonders on shy, quiet kids in building their self esteem. Usually this works, as the bully's seem to notice a change, and stop messin' with the ones they deem as weak. It would be a healthy thing for your son regardless.
Good luck

 

[70 marlin]

ya I think jr could use a little self esteem building this year.

 

[Big Tuna]

marlin, my advice may not be immidiate, but I will guarantee its' effectiveness in the future. Get him into the gym! This will bolster his confidence, boost his self esteem, and make him a more intimidating target.
He is at an age where, with proper direction he will grow like a weed. I went from 120 lbs. in grade 10 to 170 in grade 11, and by grade 12 I was up to about 220. Let's just say I had less problems as time went by. The best part about it was that it became all intimidation; I was rarely in a position where I had to defend myself. :thumb:

P.S. A nice side effect is that chicks dig a buff bod; so he'll be so busy with the girls he won't even notice those drugged out a55-clowns. :yeehaw:

 

[70 marlin]

chick's let not even get in to that! my boy are magnets. blonde haired, blue eyed, boy boy, identical twins. that could be most of the problem.

 

[Big Tuna]

My wife is an identicle twin, and growing up together, I noticed that it was as much a burden as a gift. I think that the "twin thing" attracts attention, and to others, especially those with low self confidence, that is a threat. :silly:

 

[70 marlin]

ya for sure! also you can be too close to your brother.

 

[BunduBasher]

being a twin definitely can bring trouble, my brother and I were known as 'double trouble', 'terrible twins', 'carbon copy' etc. There definitely were some 'dillweeds' who thought this was enough to justify bullying, confrontation etc. My first year in High School was filled with fights, made the most of it, and after that was left alone.

'dillweeds' is trademark copyright of Okie/DRN

 

[70 marlin]

So close to the truth~ most of the 'dillweeds' just can't rememeber there's two of them.

 

[BunduBasher]

Had to live with this line .... WHICH ONE ARE YOU ? :ugg:

 

[tx246]

in our school district there is a no tolerance policy for violence. it doesnt matter who started the fight...........everybody goes to jail. juvi to be exact. some kids (innoncent) are in there sometimes for a couple of days. they make both post bonds and go to court. this is expensive and really stupid but in todays world these kids fight with knives and guns at the drop of the hat. as far as court goes if you win you still lost money and your kid doesnt get to go to the regular school. they get to go to the "problem child" school and have to put up with a whole school of bullys.

my son is little for his age and attracts bullys like crazy. i made him memorize these steps.

1. ignore
2. tell the bully next time im going to tell someone in charge
3. tell an adult on campus
4. tell me
5. tell bully no more
6. go off on bully and keep swinging until someone pulls you off.

my hope is that we have documented the bully, the school did (or did not) do something about it and finally my kid was defending himself.

 

[Kav]

Originally posted by BunduBasher
Had to live with this line .... WHICH ONE ARE YOU ? :ugg:

I lucked out, I have a twin sister, and I'm almost a foot taller then she is. But then again I get "You're kidding! You CAN'T twins, there's just no way. :|

 

[BunduBasher]

Originally posted by Kav
"You're kidding! You CAN'T twins, there's just no way. :|

bet you can't tell the difference when you are in a dress :moon:

 

[70 marlin]

my hope is that we have documented the bully, the school did (or did not) do something about it and finally my kid was defending himself.

Nice thing about email, most of these small town schools really have'nt figured out the power of it yet. I save every thing the school sends me and have mailed her on this issue already:>) I dropped the bomb this morning on the principal. that if she continues to let this happen I'll go to a higher authority. lets see if I got her attention.

.. WHICH ONE ARE YOU

from the very start we made people use there names and consider them individuals. to many people think their connected at the hips.

 

[Hucker]

Its part of growing up, I got picked on in school until I stuck up for myself and re-arranged someone's face. From then on, no on bugged me. Teach the kid some simple self defence, how to throw a punch, how to take one. I would always get asked when I got home from my dad "Who threw the first punch?" I never would, and I never got crap from my dad for beating some kid up. I never got in trouble for fighting, not like I'd go out looking for it, but if it ever came around, well I'd hold my own. I think my last fight was about 3 years ago, don't plan on having any more anytime soon....

 

[cr25096er]

i havent been picked on lately but if i did in the hall ways i would just laugh n try 2 hang around a teacher n if the bully said what ever they did i would just look at the teacher like laughing n say isnt that nice? then the teacher knows it has happened to me n i would finsh it if it kept happening. its also funny when in the hallways in school every1 goes damn freshmen. im a freshmen but i dont look it 5'7 145lbs n i go damn freshmen n just laugh just tell urk kid 2 ignor it n finsh it i needed

 

[Kav]

Originally posted by BunduBasher


bet you can't tell the difference when you are in a dress :moon:

Sure you can, I'd have the nicer figure :p :moon: